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Jeffrey Goldberg and Jack Shafer

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from: Jeffrey Goldberg

Speaking as a Black Man, Which I Am Not

Posted Monday, Feb. 5, 2001, at 5:27 PM ET

Dear Jack,

Sorry about the cancer. Can I have your job? Or at least, can I have your CDs? You single guys have really great CD collections. On the other hand, the last time I visited your house, you had no furniture.

You didn't answer my question: If you were Jewish, and Israeli, and in Jerusalem right now, who would you vote for, Sharon or Barak? Also, if you were a Jewish settler, what kind of gun would you carry? I'd vote for the AR-15 with a sniper scope. Also, what kind of Jewish woman would you go for? Yemenite? Russian? Or someone with a little bit of Scarsdale in her?

I'm a peace-loving guy, so leave me alone. And I'm going to deny everything you've said in reference to the Israeli army. Latke flipping? What do you think: Jews exist on diets of latkes and herring bits? We're allowed to eat regular food, too. By the way, why all the hostility to Israel? I always thought you saw Masada as a measured response to a particular political reality.

On the subject of the Wall Street Journal editorial page, I, for one, have had bound and encased in rich Morocco leather every single Whitewater editorial. They are masterpieces of clearheaded insightfulness, written without partisan rancor, printed only to educate and enlighten.

I read that Heather Mac Donald piece. She's a smart person, and some of her City Journal work has been brave, but this piece is typical of her set: no room for nuance or complexity and a nasty subtext, that subtext being, "Charles Murray is right." Speaking as a black man, which I am not but would on occasion like to be, I will say that the employees of conservative think tanks have absolutely no sense of what it is like to be forced to grab bricks by ill-educated white police officers.

On the other hand, I took the New York City police test a few years ago, and it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I'm sure it efficiently screens out those unfortunates who were born without brain stems, but that's about it. I'll paraphrase one of the most memorable questions: "Officers Rodriguez and Cohen (the test-makers were nothing if not scrupulously inclusive--every hypothetical featured police officers "Johnson and Altieri" or "Ming and O'Reilly" or some other such PBS Kids combination) are patrolling Central Park, and they observe the following four groups of people: a) a group of nuns having a picnic on the lawn; b) a teacher leading a group of schoolchildren to see a fountain; c) a group of young men holding sticks and chains and following in an aggressive manner a group of young women; or d) members of a bird-watching club standing atop a wall. Which group warrants further observation and possible intervention?"

The answer, of course, was "d."'

The silliest aspect of Mac Donald's piece was its subhead: "Ashcroft should call off Justice's Jihad against Cops."

Jihad? That's no jihad. I'll tell you about jihad.

Jeff

the breakfast table
entries
12345678910111213141516
from: Jeffrey Goldberg

Speaking as a Black Man, Which I Am Not

Posted Monday, Feb. 5, 2001, at 5:27 PM ET
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Jack Shafer is deputy editor of Slate. Jeffrey Goldberg is a staff writer at The New Yorker. His book on the Middle East, Prisoners, will be published next year by Knopf.
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[Notes from the Fray Editor: There was a spirit of friendly enquiry in the Fray: "Do you guys like each other?" asked Beth. "What is a CVS?" came from Dea--and do you need to be rich to find out? (Fletch tells us it's a drugstore.) And Mark wanted to know "What's wrong with a little Masada?"

Posters who weren't asking questions were trying to draw blood. "Breakfast Table" Fray regulars are a nest of trouble-makers. Neill Hamilton demonstrates this here and here, and so does Joseph Britt, whose comment below provoked a thread well worth reading, including a debate on whether basketball is prominent in American culture.]


In response to last week's "Breakfast Table", I and several other Fray posters made the suggestion that this feature would be more interesting if it involved writers who actually disagreed with each other about something.

By "something," I was referring to American politics or something especially prominent in American culture.

Disagreements about whom Israelis should vote for do not count. This is because Israel is a foreign country. Now, I wish Israel well; I like most of the Israelis I have met in my life; I even think how the American government should respond to whatever Israeli government emerges from this week's election is a topic worthy of exploration.

But who would I vote for? Stupid question

--Joseph Britt

(To reply, click here.)

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