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Wladyslaw Pleszczynski and William McGurn

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from: Wladyslaw Pleszczynski

Next Year's Super Bowl Ads: Al Gore?

Posted Monday, Jan. 29, 2001, at 11:04 AM ET

Dear Bill:

Gosh, wouldn't you know it, the front pages are filled with Super Bowl stories. Perhaps you're surprised. The world, as I understand it, is filled with two types of football fans, and in the 20 years we've been friends, I've always figured you belong to the second type. You follow only one team--almighty Notre Dame (ugh)--with maybe one eye on longtime nemesis USC. Otherwise you have no time for this nonsense.

Not me. I long ago forgot which is my favorite team. Instead, as seasons fly by I find myself marveling at the play of the rare dominant or well-coached team, pro or college, and hope I can remember the names of the players. Then it's time for a basketball game.

I didn't notice if President Bush placed a call to the winning coach. There's a tradition we can dispense with. The Super Bowl game itself is surrounded by so much tackiness, it's hard to imagine a classy Bush would allow the presidency to be associated with it. Saying nice things about Bill Clinton is one thing. But about Ray Lewis?

Another tradition that I wouldn't mind seeing done away with is the last-minute dumping of the Gatorade barrel by winning players on their unsuspecting coach. Apparently it happened last night, but during a commercial break, so all we saw was a dripping wet Brian Billick, scowling as usual. I'd scowl, too, if I knew that my team's most valuable coach was defensive coordinator Marvin Lewis. On the other hand, I'd smile knowing that my most valuable properties are all surnamed Lewis (Ray, Jamal, Jermaine, and the unsung Marvin, who's barely covered in the morning sports reports).

Finally, there are the ads, which stood out in two respects. One was their shortage during the first quarter. I kept leaving the room after a change of possessions only to discover that play had continued uninterrupted. Whose idea was it to alter American viewing habits? Second was the return of Bob Dole to old form. Just when we thought he was hawking Viagra again, he pulled a fast one about the joy of Pepsi in the company of two young things along the beach. Let's only hope this wasn't the debut of the next George Burns.

Will we see Al Gore in ads during Super Bowl XXXVI? The high-tech commercials are crying out for his inventiveness. However, I'd prefer to see him in a professorial guise now that we know he's accepted teaching posts of sorts at Columbia, UCLA, and two Tennessee schools. Poor politically transparent Al, launching his 2004 candidacy in New York and California while literally and figuratively mending fences in his backyard. I'll forgive him, though, if he applies his debate tactics to his teaching. Wouldn't it be great to have Al sighing or rolling his eyes at some inane comment from a student? Or attempting physical intimidation of a student who failed to turn in an assignment?

Have a nice day,

Wlady

the breakfast table
entries
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from: Wladyslaw Pleszczynski

Next Year's Super Bowl Ads: Al Gore?

Posted Monday, Jan. 29, 2001, at 11:04 AM ET
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Wladyslaw Pleszczynski is executive editor of the American Spectator. William McGurn is the Wall Street Journal's chief editorial writer. (Read the Journal's editorial page here.)
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