The Breakfast Table

Washington’s Pandas: A Story From a Different Age

Hi Martha,

Well, I’ve been to the zoo, and I can report that the pandas were … OK. I guess. In the 20 minutes we were there, one peed on the wall, and the other munched a bit on some eucalyptus. The tedium was somewhat alleviated by the zoo staff answering questions about panda habits. But that got a bit weird as the conversation always cycled back to why pandas can’t seem to have sex.

Not that any of this bothered our fellow visitors. One twitch of the toe, one shake of the fur, and the crowd went wild. Not just little kids, either–a couple of ladies in fur, kissy couples, some businessmen types, and all manner of disaffected youth. And that in the end was the most charming part of it, to see tout Washington come out to greet a bear from China. It’s like a story from a different age, when the whole town saved their pennies for that night’s circus. 

Well, this has been lovely. It’s been nice to share my daily routine with a fellow new mother. As for postpartum sex, we’ll save that for an off-screen conversation.

Sleep well and love to Eli,

H