Alas, Jodi, Condi and I don’t have much in common. I almost always skip the most important meal of the day. Nor do I have a girlish laugh, gushes of Southern charm, and a spine of steel. Do I have to add that I am only rarely seen in a modest hemline, comfortable pumps, and conservative jewelry?
The Bush White House stories this morning bore me. I’m more interested in Washington’s other dry house, the Phi Delta Theta chapter at the University of Maryland. A Washington Post front-pager reports that the national Phi Delts are enforcing a ban on alcohol at chapter houses. I was never in a fraternity, but it seems to me that there are two reasons to be in one: beer and girls. And as a Phi Delt who is An Upstate New Yorker in a Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt explains, no beer means no girls. Besides, what’s wrong with a little beer? For that matter, what’s wrong with a lot of beer? One of the more upsetting trends, to me, is the infantilization of the American college student. In loco parentis es loco en la cabeza, as Speedy Gonzalez might say.
The other great story in today’s Post is disappointingly short of details. Apparently a 26-year-old Londoner named Claire sent a “racy” e-mail to 27-year-old Brad after their date, a digital You Were Great Last Night. Brad forwarded it to some of his friends. His friends forwarded it, too, and now Claire is “the Monica Lewinsky of the digital world” and Brad may get fired for “e-mail abuse.” I don’t really care about the Brad and Claire saga, to be honest. I just want to know what was in that e-mail. The Post says only that it contained Claire’s “indiscreet remarks about her own sexual preferences.” Fraygrants, if you’ve received the e-mail, you can forward it to me here. Thanks, and sorry, Claire.
I trust you will treat the details of this message with complete confidence.