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the breakfast table: An e-mail conversation about the news of the day.

Melinda Boroson and Dotty Kemper

from: Dotty Kemper

Yellow Waxing Poetic Buildup

Posted Thursday, Nov. 30, 2000, at 5:12 PM ET

Dear Melinda,

Well, she probably booted plenty. All those martinis while men seldom made passes at her, day in, day out. But thanks for your sympathy for my rebooting issues (computer bulimia?) this morning.



And I'll drop Dubya as long as I don't have to call Lieberman Libya.

So, anyway, as I was tending to some overdue sheet changing, what with all the beds full over turkey-tide, I was reflecting on the final chapter of our gab-fest. Actually, while laboring with the king-size bed, I was reflecting on what a lousy deal I got on my Granite Plush mattress. (Click here to enjoy Seth Stevenson's sobering thoughts on pallets.) Making a king-size bed is no walk in the park. More like a walk AROUND the park.

But here we are, saying goodbye already with so many pressing concerns still on the table. And so many breakfast crumbs. We'll never get to explore that cute Tom Brokaw's lateral lisp (ghlateral ghlisp), for instance. Did he study with Baba Wawa's speech teacher? Or there's the case of Dr. Elizabeth Corday's wiry hair, poised and ready to pitch into chest cavities, viscera, etc. throughout the ER. And we need to thank Jennifer Mendelsohn for educating us about Sarah Michelle, and our dance teachers for. ... Maybe in our next life.

As I muse on the pap we've been watching and sending, I feel the need for something more. Something more cultured, more--well--literate to cleanse my palate. Here I go, waxing poetic:

There once were two ladies named Mom
Who noted, with mounting alarm,
"This Slate gig's a fable:
No breakfast. No table!"
Yet each thought the other da bomb.



Touching? Now watch ME come full circle (no kidding this time: do not try this at home) by invoking the stirring mantra of Love Story. Or possibly of the United Negro College Fund: "Love means never wasting your terrible mind." No. "A mind is a terrible thing to be sorry about loving." No. "Love means never having to mind your waste." There it is! Wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in bacon.

Yum!

Dotty

P.S.: Have you noticed they're spelling "repellent" as "repellant" all over the place these days?

from: Dotty Kemper

Yellow Waxing Poetic Buildup

Posted Thursday, Nov. 30, 2000, at 5:12 PM ET
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Melinda Boroson is the mother of two college students and the author of Madame Bovary. Dotty Kemper is a housewife and mother of four from St. Louis. She is thought to be the model for Love Story's Jennifer Cavilleri. They both watch a lot of television.
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Reader Comments from The Fray:



[Wednesday notes from the Fray Editor: The best Buffy line ever was this:
"There's trouble around, I have a sixth sense, I can smell it."
"No, that would be one of the usual five."
Well, trouble in the Fray: you can't attack Buffy and get away with it. The defense was led by the eloquent Fletch, and impartial Fray observers do agree: you have to be in for the long-haul with Buffy, no use just catching a minute or two.]


You can call my preferred would-be president (note: I use the term 'preferred' in strictly a relative sense) any number of names and accuse him of a thousand acts of treason (and they have), but my blood won't boil over in the Fray--until you insult Buffy.

Yes, the special effects can be kind of cheesy, and yes, the dialogue probably comes off as cheesy (if you're not used to its self-conscious, self-referential side), but there is not another show on television that even approaches Buffy in cleverness, acting quality, humor, and just plain ass-kicking. (Except, if we agree to leave aside the ass-kicking as non-essential, Sports Night and West Wing--but everyone agrees on the latter, and no-one agreed on the former.)

[Point by point rebuttal omitted: click here to read it]

In sum, Joss Whedon, Buffy's creator is nothing short of a mad genius. I pity you for having written Buffy off.

--Fletch

(To reply, click here.)


[Tuesday notes from the Fray Editor: We are guessing at this one, but it seems as though there was a headline on this item which misled people, because they all jumped into the Fray and started talking about matters that had nothing to do with the content of the Breakfast Table. "Damn it Slate! First it's mattresses (indeed, and not to be missed: here) now it's sitcoms. Stay on subject. Lets hate Gore!" Come on, it's not as though the rest of Slate lacks serious election news...

A few people stuck to the subject, and there was a Fray first--casting suggestions for our Breakfast Table participants. Not going to quote them, just telling you, along with another reader's guess how the TV-watching is done: "I am picturing chenille bathrobes here". Also a question "What do you think of Westwing, Law and Order, and Roswell?"

There were biographical details on Flaubert, a description of the funniest moment in that Simpsons episode, and another casting suggestion: Beverly Sills for Hillary Clinton. (Fray choice would be actress Hope Davis, check out her photo at the Internet Movie Database). We liked these ideas, though we were reproved for lack of seriousness here by the powerful combination of A.G.Android and Treat Williams.]


We all pretty much agree that most TV sucks, right? Same goes for the education of our young people. (The two might be related.) How about a new version of Steve Allen's Meeting of Minds, with Charles Grodin as moderator/sometime star? (This format has the added bonus of employing great, but no-longer 22-year old actresses.) Grodin is extremely intelligent, very personable--one of those people like Alan Alda who you'd like to have as your next door neighbor.

Allen limited his characters to historical personalities (in order to better contrast philosophies, I suspect), but this wouldn't be totally necessary in a new version of the show. Can you imagine the conversation between one of the cleaning ladies from Monty Python and, say, Ivana Trump? Or how about a meeting of minds between Lady Godiva and Elizabeth Dole?

--Evangeline

(To reply, click here.)


I would welcome a Return of Richie Brockelman miniseries, especially if it would prevent him from directing any more Adam Sandler movies.

And if you are going to mention Paula Prentiss and Richard Benjamin, you must include one of the great neglected sitcoms, He and She. I keep hoping to see it again on Nick at Nite. Benjamin may be her soul mate, but clearly, as you both indicate, Jim Hutton was her screen mate, even with that awful Where the Boys Are retro dialogue (remember that she wanted to be a "walking, talking baby machine")--that probably did as much as Betty Friedan to bring on the women's movement.

Now, I'm sure we can improve the casting of our current news story. Too bad Gale Sonnergard is gone--she'd make a great Katherine Harris.

--Nell

(To reply, click here.)





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