Eddie Dean and Emily Yoffe
Emily,
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StumbleUpon"Dolly Parton Wrist"? I like that--you should trademark it fast for that Tuscaloosa doctor, who's obviously been working hard on his study. Parton is one of my all-time favorites, along with your namesake Emily Dickinson and Bessie Smith and Djuna Barnes, one of the great American woman artists--fearless and true to themselves. Check out her song "Down From Dover": The protagonist is pregnant, spurned by her family and boyfriend, and when her baby arrives, it is stillborn. Parton's unflinching lyrics seem sprung from some ancient ballad. One listen and you'll be defending her from unbelievers. And Dollywood's a great place to take the kids.
I thought the C-Span radio station was a put-on until I actually heard it. You can still find jazz at WPFW-FM, but the station I listen to most is WGAY-AM, one of those Music of Your Life formats. DJ Eddie Gallaher gives the morning show his own personal touch; he is well past 80 and a Washington institution. When he plays a Perez Prado mambo from the '50s, he doesn't hail it as "world music"; he says something like, "Now that, ladies and gentlemen, was a lovely dance tune, don't you think?" Then he plugs some local restaurant as if it were in faraway Shangri-La: "Land of the Golden Hot Popovers." (I think he's talking about some sort of exquisite biscuit.)
I hope John Hinckley isn't really on the loose, because that sick bastard's got my number. A few years ago, I stalked him for a City Paper story. I hung out for a few days at the St. Elizabeth's Hospital for the Criminally Insane, and they took me for another patient. Hinckley always sat alone at his own bench, swigging Diet Cokes by the six pack and reading magazines brought to him by his girlfriend, who years ago killed her own daughter and then shot off her arm in a suicide try, and has since gained a release from St. E's. It was obvious that Hinckley felt superior to his fellow patients, mostly poor black men who shared cigs and complaints and earnest, if flighty, conversation. Men suffering in all sorts of private hells, but most were as courteous as any average Joe outside the walls. Not Hinckley, though. He was too good for us: I wanted to punch that smug expression off his baby face; instead we just stared each other down. They didn't kick me off grounds until I approached him for the interview. I don't feel sorry for Hinckley; I feel sorry for what he did to Jim Brady.
I was going to get to the news (scientists predict a tidal wave coming to Virginia Beach, the state's most populated metro area) but I hear Eddie Gallaher intoning his bittersweet sign-off: "It's nice to know so many nice people," so once again I'm saved by the bell.
I really would like to take you to a cockfight someday. The refreshment-stand fare is pretty average (hot dogs and lukewarm Mountain Dew courtesy of the local moose lodge) but I bet we could have a good time.
Eddie
The Least Fun Thing About Video Games: Friendly Fire
Why Is It Such a Big Deal That We Found Water on the Moon?
A Place So Beautifully Sad, It Makes Me Want To Paint
Help! I Got My Co-Worker's Sister Pregnant!
So Will Harry Reid's Health Reform Bill Ruin Medicare or Not?
The Obama Administration Is Giving This Gitmo Detainee a Raw Deal
Reader Response from The Fray--to be read after the final entry:
Not only should Bobo the Clown be drafted to moderate the Presidential debates [Thursday's entry], but he should chair every Congressional Committee, be given Joe Lockhart's job, and he should anchor the news on all networks.
--Will Allen
(To reply, click here.)
I know it's all the rage now to demonstrate your liberal bona fides by trashing the Confederate flag in South Carolina or Confederate History Month in Virginia, but Eddie's little diatribe against Governor Gilmore and Richmond, Virginia takes the cake [Tuesday]. I see that he has joined some of those he criticizes in hijacking history, ascribing his beliefs to be in the great tradition of Robert E. Lee.
The natural progression of not honoring Confederate History Month is to begin to impede or discourage tourists who want to visit Civil War sites or Confederate museums and cemeteries, as these people must be misguided at best or racist yahoos at worst. I'm sure that Virginians of all ethnicities who work in tourism-related businesses appreciate all the controversy and would rather not have Civil War tourists staying in hotels, eating at restaurants, or buying souvenirs. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Virginia elect the one and only black governor ever to serve in the 50 states?
If you could find 50 people in Virginia who knew about the Confederate History Month proclamation before this contretemps, I would be shocked.
--Will
(To reply, click here.)
(5/4)
Slate should call this "Whenever You Can Make It To The Table" instead of the "Breakfast Table".
--NT
[See timing of Monday's posts. Matters seemed to improve during the week.]
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So there could be genetically-engineered giant animals [Monday's entry]--but what about when politicians start splicing their genes? Imagine the havoc a 50-foot George Bush would do to the environment--dangerous. Or the monotone bellow of a 100-foot-tall Gore. O the horror.
--Chris
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I have engineered four-legged chickens because my family likes fried chicken legs. We are as of this date unsure of the palatability of these fowl because now we can't catch them.
--eieio
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Today Pharm Animals--Tomorrow Your Mom!
--Seeking Justice
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[This was the title of the post. There was quite a lot more, but this seemed to hit the spot.]
Actually, if the knife that George Harrison was stabbed with had been about a half-inch to the left, he would have died instantly [Monday]. Only those with no knowledge or understanding of violence (which in this post-draft era means basically all of the chattering classes) think that knives are inherently less lethal than guns.
--Tench Coxe
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Re: the possible break-up of Microsoft:
Oh Emily,
Some of us relate:
Poor Bill's the guy everyone loves to hate.
But fear not for your beloved Slate
Just follow His lead,
simply innovate.
--Ann
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(5/2)