Eddie Dean and Emily Yoffe
Emily,
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StumbleUponI must tell you as I stub out another cigarette that I'm a smoker but no fan of Philip Morris. Ever since the company stopped offering those golf-cart tours of the factory off I-95 in Richmond, it seems like they've had something to hide. The problem with my brand, Camels, is that although I'm still getting plenty of "pleasure to burn," I'll never be able to save up enough coupons for the Joe Camel speedboat that R.J. Reynolds promises. Or is it the Marlboro Man speedboat? I can't remember. Either way, judging by the smoke-filled lobby at the Buenos Aires airport, the cig pushers have nothing to worry about in regards to a healthy demand abroad.
In an effort to draw attention away from the shenanigans of Washington's new Morality Czar Lanny Davis, I wanted to mention a story in today's Washington Times that caught my eye. (The much-maligned paper does a damn good job covering the District, especially on the crime beat.) In a "Metro" section piece about the problem of pit bulls, a representative from D.C.'s poorest ward says: "These dogs are used for sport in our community--just like a cockfight." Though the comment was made with the best of intentions, it perpetuates a misconception about cockfighting, which shares little in common with a pair of junkyard dogs tearing each other to pieces. I did a piece on cockfighting a while back for City Paper, and the match I attended--while by no means making a convert of me--showed that the 2,000-year-old pastime follows a tradition that demands respect. Only one bout, which lasted several minutes too long and cost me $5 in a bet, left me disgusted. The majority were well-fought, and the owners clearly doted on the birds.
If you want to see some of this for yourself, it is difficult since cockfighting remains illegal in most states, but I can recommend Monte Hellman's 1974 film Cockfighter. Warren Oates' masterful, understated performance as Frank Mansfield is a wonder to behold, and Harry Dean Stanton is fine, too, as a rival cockfighter who wins Frank's girlfriend in a bet. This low-budget movie, which has a documentary feel and beautiful cinematography from Academy Award winner Néstor Almendros, is based on Charles Willeford's novel of the same name, an eloquent portrait of a misunderstood sport.
As far as I know, pit bull fighting is a blood sport of a whole different sort, but maybe I'm wrong. (As an old-school reporter, though, I suppose I should attend a pit bull bout before making this sort of judgment.)
I realize I've strayed a bit far afield from K Street, but I wanted to give another take on a subject that has been fumbled far too often by the mainstream media. Don't even get me started on the animal-rights activists: After the City Paper piece ran, one of these fools-in-fake-furs wrote in to assert that I should be shot into outer space and forced to fight a giant chicken for an audience of aliens. That was the part of the letter that made sense.
I will try to get back to the headlines next time around ...
Yours in Remembrance of the Late, Great Warren Oates,
Eddie
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The Week's Best Editorial Cartoons
Reader Response from The Fray--to be read after the final entry:
Not only should Bobo the Clown be drafted to moderate the Presidential debates [Thursday's entry], but he should chair every Congressional Committee, be given Joe Lockhart's job, and he should anchor the news on all networks.
--Will Allen
(To reply, click here.)
I know it's all the rage now to demonstrate your liberal bona fides by trashing the Confederate flag in South Carolina or Confederate History Month in Virginia, but Eddie's little diatribe against Governor Gilmore and Richmond, Virginia takes the cake [Tuesday]. I see that he has joined some of those he criticizes in hijacking history, ascribing his beliefs to be in the great tradition of Robert E. Lee.
The natural progression of not honoring Confederate History Month is to begin to impede or discourage tourists who want to visit Civil War sites or Confederate museums and cemeteries, as these people must be misguided at best or racist yahoos at worst. I'm sure that Virginians of all ethnicities who work in tourism-related businesses appreciate all the controversy and would rather not have Civil War tourists staying in hotels, eating at restaurants, or buying souvenirs. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Virginia elect the one and only black governor ever to serve in the 50 states?
If you could find 50 people in Virginia who knew about the Confederate History Month proclamation before this contretemps, I would be shocked.
--Will
(To reply, click here.)
(5/4)
Slate should call this "Whenever You Can Make It To The Table" instead of the "Breakfast Table".
--NT
[See timing of Monday's posts. Matters seemed to improve during the week.]
(To reply, click here.)
So there could be genetically-engineered giant animals [Monday's entry]--but what about when politicians start splicing their genes? Imagine the havoc a 50-foot George Bush would do to the environment--dangerous. Or the monotone bellow of a 100-foot-tall Gore. O the horror.
--Chris
(To reply, click here.)
I have engineered four-legged chickens because my family likes fried chicken legs. We are as of this date unsure of the palatability of these fowl because now we can't catch them.
--eieio
(To reply, click here.)
Today Pharm Animals--Tomorrow Your Mom!
--Seeking Justice
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[This was the title of the post. There was quite a lot more, but this seemed to hit the spot.]
Actually, if the knife that George Harrison was stabbed with had been about a half-inch to the left, he would have died instantly [Monday]. Only those with no knowledge or understanding of violence (which in this post-draft era means basically all of the chattering classes) think that knives are inherently less lethal than guns.
--Tench Coxe
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Re: the possible break-up of Microsoft:
Oh Emily,
Some of us relate:
Poor Bill's the guy everyone loves to hate.
But fear not for your beloved Slate
Just follow His lead,
simply innovate.
--Ann
(To reply, click here.)
(5/2)