Eddie Dean and Emily Yoffe
Emily,
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StumbleUponIn this morning's Washington Post, the latest chapter of the Great Southern Minstrel Show: Virginia Governor Jimbo Gilmore rubs on his burnt cork and tells 300 tourism-industry execs that while he most surely likes dem ol' Rebels, he adores dem black folks too---or, at least the ones with plenty of greenbacks. This from the man who recently declared April Confederate History Month, the stupidest proclamation since the Lee-Jackson-King Day package deal foisted on the Commonwealth a few years ago. Now, with the NAACP threatening a boycott, Gilmore wants African-Americans to rest assured that the Old Dominion welcomes their tourist dollars.
I grew up in Richmond (home to the Times-Disgrace, one of the last dailies to support segregation), and I have seen yahoos like Gilmore wrap themselves in the Stars 'n' Bars every chance they get. I can assure you that Confederate history's a year-round sort of thing that needs no reinforcement from the Governor's Mansion: Check out the White House of the Confederacy (probably the finest museum in the city), visit Hollywood Cemetery and Monument Avenue (justly called the most beautiful street in America) and maybe a nearby James River plantation. But also, don't forget to take a drive through Jackson Ward, where the statue of tap dancer Bill "Bojangles" Robinson welcomes all who dare enter, and see how the locals are doing.
Make no mistake: I am a proud Virginian--and loyal patron of Bill's Barbecue at their many locations--but in the tradition of Robert E. Lee, who was one of the staunchest supporters of reconciliation after the war. (He once threatened to fire one of his college employees for speaking ill of General Grant.) Gilmore and his ilk are the real traitors to Lee and the heroes of the Lost Cause they claim to honor.
Speaking of states' rights, I guess I should weigh in on the proposed Microsoft smash-up. It's hard to choose sides in a battle of Goliaths, but I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that Gates' company is a convenient scapegoat for the feds, who have to at least make a muscle and try to pretend they have some sort of handle on a revolution way beyond their control.
The George Harrison stabbing struck me as a telling glimpse of the New Olde England: a night-time breach of the castle of the rock-star royalty, a brave tussle with the intruder (who only recently was a liege of pretenders-to-the-throne Oasis), and finally a chivalrous rescue by the fair maiden of the Harrison House, George's wife. I await the song that he will record with proceeds going to Ringo, the Beatle whom no one deems worthy of stalking. Paul, of course, has been dead for years.
Lemme know when you want a tour of Richmond.
Eddie
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Reader Response from The Fray--to be read after the final entry:
Not only should Bobo the Clown be drafted to moderate the Presidential debates [Thursday's entry], but he should chair every Congressional Committee, be given Joe Lockhart's job, and he should anchor the news on all networks.
--Will Allen
(To reply, click here.)
I know it's all the rage now to demonstrate your liberal bona fides by trashing the Confederate flag in South Carolina or Confederate History Month in Virginia, but Eddie's little diatribe against Governor Gilmore and Richmond, Virginia takes the cake [Tuesday]. I see that he has joined some of those he criticizes in hijacking history, ascribing his beliefs to be in the great tradition of Robert E. Lee.
The natural progression of not honoring Confederate History Month is to begin to impede or discourage tourists who want to visit Civil War sites or Confederate museums and cemeteries, as these people must be misguided at best or racist yahoos at worst. I'm sure that Virginians of all ethnicities who work in tourism-related businesses appreciate all the controversy and would rather not have Civil War tourists staying in hotels, eating at restaurants, or buying souvenirs. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Virginia elect the one and only black governor ever to serve in the 50 states?
If you could find 50 people in Virginia who knew about the Confederate History Month proclamation before this contretemps, I would be shocked.
--Will
(To reply, click here.)
(5/4)
Slate should call this "Whenever You Can Make It To The Table" instead of the "Breakfast Table".
--NT
[See timing of Monday's posts. Matters seemed to improve during the week.]
(To reply, click here.)
So there could be genetically-engineered giant animals [Monday's entry]--but what about when politicians start splicing their genes? Imagine the havoc a 50-foot George Bush would do to the environment--dangerous. Or the monotone bellow of a 100-foot-tall Gore. O the horror.
--Chris
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I have engineered four-legged chickens because my family likes fried chicken legs. We are as of this date unsure of the palatability of these fowl because now we can't catch them.
--eieio
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Today Pharm Animals--Tomorrow Your Mom!
--Seeking Justice
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[This was the title of the post. There was quite a lot more, but this seemed to hit the spot.]
Actually, if the knife that George Harrison was stabbed with had been about a half-inch to the left, he would have died instantly [Monday]. Only those with no knowledge or understanding of violence (which in this post-draft era means basically all of the chattering classes) think that knives are inherently less lethal than guns.
--Tench Coxe
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Re: the possible break-up of Microsoft:
Oh Emily,
Some of us relate:
Poor Bill's the guy everyone loves to hate.
But fear not for your beloved Slate
Just follow His lead,
simply innovate.
--Ann
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(5/2)