Eddie Dean and Emily Yoffe
Emily,
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StumbleUponSorry for the lag time. Just got back from Buenos Aires, where I was living mostly on blood sausages and beefsteaks as big as the offspring of vegetarians. I saw the Times piece on the plane and took great offense at the coming stampede of the pharm animals. I don't mind scientists messing with the greens-and-beans menu, but when they start mixing spiders and goats we got trouble---that's the sort of evil stew the witches in Macbeth were cooking up, and I'd hate to think that this will someday be a special at Denny's. I don't like the idea of genetically engineered goats nohow--this is sure to wreak havoc in the animal-sacrifice racket, and that's bad news even if you don't prefer goat's-head soup: You can't fool the gods with lab-tainted goods.
As for the Elián soap opera, it's just a blip in the media down there. The real story out of Cuba is how Diego Maradona is faring at a drug-rehab clinic in Havana, an ongoing saga that's been ignored by the U.S. press. Yesterday, it rated a 10-page cover story in La Nacion's Revista, the equivalent of the New York Times Magazine. Four months ago, the former soccer star nearly died from heart failure at a beach resort, the result of years of cocaine and alcohol abuse. At Castro's invitation, Maradona showed up at an exclusive Havana hospital a wasted shell at 39 years old--overweight, furnace-faced, topped by blazing orange-dyed hair and branded by a new Che Guevara tattoo on his arm--slurring parables about how he'd come to the island of sanctuary to avoid an early entrance to the heavenly pantheon reserved for Argentine martyrs like Gardel and Fangio. (That's loosely translated.) To give the finger to Death, to finally Just Say No to Drogas. According to La Nacion's exclusive, the treatment seems to be working: He's slimmed down, speaking in complete sentences (still referring to himself in the third person, though), and spends his time perusing Jon Anderson's Che biography ("And here I am the idol of one of Che's children," he says in disbelief), but mostly watching soccer games and the Discovery Channel on a wide-screen TV. Maradona has also befriended the photographer whose car he punched out a couple days into his rehab stint. Now, at the photog's seaside house, a tanned Diego takes to the water, sailing and smoking Cohiba cigars for peace of mind.
If Maradona can straighten himself out, it would be great coup for Castro's health-care system and, perhaps, would attract other celebrity burnouts to come to Cuba instead of the Betty Ford Center. This would seem a more humane treatment for jailbird/damn good thespian Robert Downey Jr., who could make a cameo as a drug-addicted actor with a song to sing in Wim Wenders' sequel to The Buena Vista Social Club. All in all, not a bad way for Castro to make some more cash off the decadent capitalistas.
Emily, as you might suspect, I haven't had much sleep for a few days, but I will close this one with an example of why I am rooting for Diego. When I asked my Buenos Aires cabbie about Maradona, he didn't say a word: Just reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a Polaroid of him and Diego at some autograph-signing from 10 years ago. Then he explained that Maradona is hooked on his roots as much as any drug, and remains married to his sweetheart from the same poor Italian neighborhood of Buenos Aires: He's still Diego--the hero as compañero, like Che, eh??? At least on some level, anyway ...
That George Harrison stabbing you mentioned I want to delve into deeper if we get a chance.
Look forward to hearing from you,
Eddie
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Reader Response from The Fray--to be read after the final entry:
Not only should Bobo the Clown be drafted to moderate the Presidential debates [Thursday's entry], but he should chair every Congressional Committee, be given Joe Lockhart's job, and he should anchor the news on all networks.
--Will Allen
(To reply, click here.)
I know it's all the rage now to demonstrate your liberal bona fides by trashing the Confederate flag in South Carolina or Confederate History Month in Virginia, but Eddie's little diatribe against Governor Gilmore and Richmond, Virginia takes the cake [Tuesday]. I see that he has joined some of those he criticizes in hijacking history, ascribing his beliefs to be in the great tradition of Robert E. Lee.
The natural progression of not honoring Confederate History Month is to begin to impede or discourage tourists who want to visit Civil War sites or Confederate museums and cemeteries, as these people must be misguided at best or racist yahoos at worst. I'm sure that Virginians of all ethnicities who work in tourism-related businesses appreciate all the controversy and would rather not have Civil War tourists staying in hotels, eating at restaurants, or buying souvenirs. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Virginia elect the one and only black governor ever to serve in the 50 states?
If you could find 50 people in Virginia who knew about the Confederate History Month proclamation before this contretemps, I would be shocked.
--Will
(To reply, click here.)
(5/4)
Slate should call this "Whenever You Can Make It To The Table" instead of the "Breakfast Table".
--NT
[See timing of Monday's posts. Matters seemed to improve during the week.]
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So there could be genetically-engineered giant animals [Monday's entry]--but what about when politicians start splicing their genes? Imagine the havoc a 50-foot George Bush would do to the environment--dangerous. Or the monotone bellow of a 100-foot-tall Gore. O the horror.
--Chris
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I have engineered four-legged chickens because my family likes fried chicken legs. We are as of this date unsure of the palatability of these fowl because now we can't catch them.
--eieio
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Today Pharm Animals--Tomorrow Your Mom!
--Seeking Justice
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[This was the title of the post. There was quite a lot more, but this seemed to hit the spot.]
Actually, if the knife that George Harrison was stabbed with had been about a half-inch to the left, he would have died instantly [Monday]. Only those with no knowledge or understanding of violence (which in this post-draft era means basically all of the chattering classes) think that knives are inherently less lethal than guns.
--Tench Coxe
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Re: the possible break-up of Microsoft:
Oh Emily,
Some of us relate:
Poor Bill's the guy everyone loves to hate.
But fear not for your beloved Slate
Just follow His lead,
simply innovate.
--Ann
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(5/2)