David Plotz and Hanna Rosin
Hi, Honey. Did you see the papers this morning? (Why of course I did, Sweetie, because I stole them out of your bag at the gym this morning.)
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StumbleUponWell, in the few minutes I managed to steal them back (while you were treadmilling away, no doubt mesmerized by Katie Couric's on-air colonoscopy), I noted they were, for the first time in many days, blissfully free of heavy-breathing "news analysis" about the role of religion in politics. I read all those articles, and still, I, Miss Religion Reporter, don't really get this latest flare-up, over Bush's visit to Bob Jones University. Generally, these political flapdoodles resonate because they tap into some suppressed prejudice (Willie Horton). But dredge up as many JFK references as you want and you still won't convince me the average Protestant still hates the Catholics, and vice versa.
Maybe the answer is less sociological than pheremonal. The religious right's hatred of McCain is viscerally, inexplicably venomous. It goes way beyond his support for campaign-finance reform. I think they've just sniffed him out; despite that 100 percent voting record, they know he's not one of them. Bush, like them, is a born-again yuppie, all quivering lip and self-analysis. McCain is too vintage for them. He speaks in the idiom of their grandfather's, not their own. Bush uses words like "in my heart" and "personal savior"; McCain uses WWII lingo like "honor" and "valor."
Otherwise, the papers are in a lull before Super Tuesday, as political reporters gear up for that one last push before they can finally go home and see the kids, change their socks, etc. Headlines today are analysis-free and industry-newsletter-tired, the equivalent of: McCain Wants To Win and Bush Does Too. Latest sign Bradley is doomed: His campaign seems to have been assigned to the metro reporters.
I pause to make a proposal. In honor of tomorrow, let's say we label these Breakfast Tables for each day of the week, so today will be Manic Monday, tomorrow Super Tuesday, then Big Gulp Wednesday, etc. What do you say?
What do you make of this Friend of Dubya Wyly character, (except for his infinite headline possibilities)? No doubt he and Bush were colluding, but is that any worse than doing the same thing as it's usually done by these independent supporters, which is telepathically? At least one thing about him is more honest. When the ads say "Paid for by the Friends of Bush," in this case they are more accurate.
(By the way, never asked you: Do you identify more with the coyote or the roadrunner?)
Random thought I had no time to share before gym: When that Southwest plane was crashing into the gas station, do you think the crew kept up their usual comedy routine: "Hey guys, just thought we'd stop to refuel early." Yuck Yuck.
OK, must get up from this "table" and begin my day. First order of business: tamp down raging newsroom rumors that certain very prominent Catholics are about to keel over momentarily. This would mean I have to spend my week tinkering with obituaries, which I do not want to do. I'm not the first to note the eerie existence in your average newspaper of the hundreds of obituaries placidly sitting in the system, awaiting the shroud and coffin.
Seems like a possible plot update for It's a Wonderful Life. Some depressed Has-Been (Ernest Lough, say, England's most famous choirboy, who is eulogized in the Times today) feels his life has been worthless and stands poised at the edge of the bridge. A friend hacks into the local papers and prints out various heartwarming obituaries, about how many lives he has touched, etc. She races to the bridge, folder in hand. He finds the will to live. The End.
P.S.: Do you think I can post a query to the general public about our "bug problem" or would that embarrass you as regards the thoroughness of our housekeeping?
Lithwick Reports From the Supreme Court Hearing on Giving Juveniles Life Without Parole
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The Weirdly Sexual New Ad for Halls Lozenges
Central Europe Has Really Been on a Hot Streak Since the Berlin Wall Fell
It's a Bad Idea for the Government To Cap Malpractice Awards
How Many Times Can Someone Fire a Pistol in Seven Minutes?
Highlights from The Fray:
Obviously I'm biased, and in mourning, but Hanna's outburst about Bill Bradley [see Wednesday's entry] still seems to be a bit much...it's pretty hard to exit one of these races with any grace and dignity, and I think my guy's doing a pretty dang good job of it. Regarding "you just lost, nobody liked you" - Bradley picked up a fairly consistent 30% of the vote nationwide, but many more didn't hate Bradley but they simply thought Gore was the better candidate. Could you imagine if Gore hadn't gone through a primary? Six months of getting killed in the press every night by the GOP? And certainly Bradley did raise a number of issues that the veep wouldn't have prioritized--including universal health care, race relations, and, yes, campaign finance reform.
--Sad Bradley Fan
(To reply, click here.)
[And see Thursday's entry where Ms Rosin responds: that Bradley mourner in The Fray made me feel bad.]
The Breakfast Table asked [see Tuesday's entry] why science reporters haven't written articles explaining the reason TRW and other contractors have such a hard time making a workable missile defense. The short answer (I'm a correspondent for Science magazine, which I assume makes me a science reporter) is that they have written such articles, and the reason that the contractors are having such trouble is that the task is extremely difficult. It's like shooting a bullet at a bullet, only much, much harder. Longer explanatory analogy: I once saw Pief Panofsky, the Stanford physicist who helped negotiate the test-ban treaty, talk about this subject in Cambridge. He asked the audience to imagine some nutty guy who liked to drive into his garage by hitting the garage-door opener at precisely the right moment so that the door flew open exactly as he rolled in. If you think about it for a moment, you can see that this is quite like flying into the path of a missile at exactly the right time so that you hit its forward section -- it's a matter of split-second timing. Now imagine that you are doing this at thousands of miles an hour. Now imagine that instead of a regular car, you are driving a jet-powered car, which shudders and shakes and has to be constantly course-corrected just to stay in a straight line, which of course must be factored in to your garage-door opening. Now imagine that the garage is moving, too, and it's jiggling through the air just like you are. Now imagine that you have to make a whole lot of the crucial decisions when you are miles away and can't even get a good look at the garage. Now imagine -- Panofsky went on like this for a good while, and in the end pretty much convinced everyone in the audience that the ABM treaty was a good idea primarily because it would prevent nations from spending billions of dollars to build systems that simply could not work. Or, rather, that it was supposed to do that -- I guess we're doing it anyway.
--Charles C. Mann
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You asked {Tuesday's entry] what TRW stands for.
Two brainy guys formed Ramo-Woolridge in Los Angeles and showed up on the cover of Time in the late 1950s. Soon after, the big successful machine shop, Thompson Products, acquired them. I don't remember if they named their company Thompson-Ramo-Woolridge, but if they did, they soon changed it to their italicized monogram, TRW.
--Thomas Tersigni
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I love this word, "ironists," as in "committed Democrats and ironists all" by Hanna [See Tuesday's entry]. As for me, I try to live without irony, but sometimes my shirts are just too damned wrinkled, especially the cotton ones. And "canicide!" Fabulous.
--Tim K.
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Plotz has a dizziness accumulated only from his great rareness in common folkish observations without realizing that greatness comes from all around him and manifests itself only to those who are not so encumbered as he obviously is in his own importance and cowering adjectives self learned and looking for a target that is worthy of his very dubious talents and one that is not likely to object as he reads much more worthy...stuff.
--bill schwarz
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To hell with Gabriel Snyder--more domesticity please.
--Jim Crowley
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