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the breakfast table: An e-mail conversation about the news of the day.

Christopher Caldwell and Jonathan Mahler

the breakfast table
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from: Jonathan Mahler

Post Rocks On With Rocker

Posted Thursday, March 2, 2000, at 7:17 PM ET

Dear Chris,

Glad to hear you picked up the New York Post today. Quite a read, isn't it? As for their decision to "wood" (excuse the anachronistic term, but I don't get the chance very often and besides, I have to do something to compete with your political erudition) the Rocker story, I must confess that I'm all for it. It's the job of the New York Times to lead with the House vote on Social Security, whereas the tabs have every right--nay, the responsibility--to be shamelessly New York-centric.

And I love the fact that the group most offended by his remarks are the people who ride the No. 7 train. I mean, how's that for an underprivileged minority. Did you read the story? It had a couple of tabloid gems, like the Blowhard Brave and the Loud-mouth Lefty. And then some line about him getting himself into a mound of trouble. What fun!

By the way, I forgot to mention earlier how grossed out I was by the Al Sharpton lovefest during the Democratic debate. I think Gore said something about condemning "the language" that the Rev. used during the Tawana Brawley fiasco. The language! What about the sentiments? To hear that kind of nonsense from Gore, especially after his brave rebuke of Jesse Jackson back in 1988, got me quite steamed. I must say, though, that seeing that New York Times photo of the veep strolling on the beach, holding his sneaks alongside his daughter, did redeem him a little in mine eyes.

A good point on They Might Be Giants. Don't forget that hit single (or as close as they ever came to a hit single) about making a little birdhouse in your soul.

And I'm all for your compromise proposal on Strawberry. Henceforth all designated hitters shall be banished to drug-rehabilitation centers. And they should be joined by hitters who can't bunt or hit sacrifice flies, pitchers who can't throw a fastball for a strike, and--why not?--basketball players who can't shoot 80 percent from the line.

Well Chris, it has indeed been a pleasure sharing my virtual breakfast with you.

Over and out,
Jonathan

the breakfast table
entries
12345678910111213141516
from: Jonathan Mahler

Post Rocks On With Rocker

Posted Thursday, March 2, 2000, at 7:17 PM ET
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Christopher Caldwell is senior writer at the Weekly Standard and a columnist for New York Press. Jonathan Mahler is a senior editor at Talk.
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Highlights from The Fray:

[The Breakfast Table participants covered a wide variety of serious and political subjects this week, and as usual Fraygrants knew which were the really important topics, and were keen to participate in the life of the mind:]

The reason the quoted verse of the Steely Dan lyrics makes no sense is that you have omitted the central line:


Any major dude with half a heart
Surely will tell you, my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart
Falls together again.
When the demon is at your door,
In the morning he won't be there no more.
Any major dude can tell you

Doesn't that make it crystal clear?

--Ralph Bartlett

(To reply, click here.)


I rather think that Jonathan missed Chris' main point. Baseball teams shouldn't be adopted for their success, or for their failures. There's something mightily strange about growing up in California and rooting for the Yankees. After all, there was hardly any shortage of New York teams on the West Coast - whence the need to appropriate the only one that remained where it belonged? I'm a Red Sox fan because I was born and raised fifteen minutes from Fenway Park, because one of my strongest childhood memories is the glory of '86 (and yes, the pain), and because hope springs eternal at the end of winter. I do, however, want to compliment Chris. He may not be a native New Yorker, but he seems as smugly superior as any Yankees fan whom I have ever met.

--Yoni

(To reply, click here.)


Maybe it's one of those "you had to have been there" sort of things, but I thought The Sure Thing was charming. It was funny without being crude or stupid. And the punchline you were strugling with? After a series of catastrophes, the protagonists find themselves locked out of shelter in a downpour. The girl suddenly recalls that she has a credit card, but "I'm only supposed to use it for emergencies!"

--Bill Altreuter

(To reply, click here.)


To Bill Altreuter:
Actually that was the set-up line. The punch line followed: "Maybe one will come up."

--B.Roman

(To reply, click here.)


You should start and post a list of phrases to be banned from the press henceforth. My three nominees (for now): 1) sloe-eyed; 2) tsunami; 3) "I knew (blank) and you're no (blank)."

--Matt Murray

(To reply, click here.)


Here are some more proposed Taboo Phrases: 1) Its the *******, stupid! 2) Risky tax schemes 3) Move forward 4) Media savvy 5) Sole remaining Superpower 6) Outside the mainstream 7) Go negative.

--John McGraw

(To reply, click here.)

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