Alexander Chancellor and Sarah Lyall
My Kinky Valentine
By Sarah Lyall
Posted Monday, Feb. 14, 2000, at 11:02 AM ETDear Alexander,
I'm sorry to take so long to respond, but I've spent the whole morning unwrapping my Valentine's Day presents. Actually, that's not true. There was no card. No romantic breakfast. And no roses from my husband--who knows that if he tries something as cheesy as that, it's an instant deal-breaker--or, sadly, from anyone else. Warren, my boss, did bring back some chocolates after his weekend covering the on-again, off-again Irish peace process, but they were for the whole office. And, of course, they were from Belfast, hardly the chocolate capital of the world.
I used to really like Valentine's Day. When I was in college, I wrote an essay for the school paper on how you should use the opportunity to declare your love for the person you adored but had been too shy to reveal yourself to. The next day, I got a bouquet of flowers, along with a copy of a poem by the lesbian author Sappho. I never found out who sent them, which has always been troubling to me.
I'm slightly puzzled that the papers make so much of Valentine's Day and that the readers of such august papers as the Times would willingly expose themselves by taking out personal ads that reveal their weird and faintly distasteful pet names for each other. Is this a British thing, a sign of the racy kinkiness that underlies the repressed exterior, like when members of Parliament seek out prostitutes who dress in nurse's costumes? But it's a good way to sell papers, I suppose, and I have to admit that I read the Mail's section on "How To Be a Sex Kitten at Any Age" with true interest. (Do I really need to wear "wrap-around clothes and brilliant red lipsticks," though?)
You're English. So please, please, please explain to me what the story is with the topless women (excuse me, girls) who appear on Page 3 of the Sun (there's a Valentine's special today: three at once, for a grand total of six breasts). Do you even read the Sun? Or is it a class thing--only construction workers and taxi drivers read the Sun, whereas you, because you went to Oxford (or Cambridge--I always forget) read only the reputable broadsheets, occasionally slumming it with the Mail and the Express? Does your wife read the Sun? How can the paper sell millions of copies every single day when it prints these ridiculous photographs? Although, to give the paper credit, it did recently announce that it would no longer use models whose breasts had been surgically enhanced--a real coup, I'm sure, for the three feminists still living in Britain.
On another matter, the papers were very sorry to see that more than half the people on the Afghan plane that was hijacked last week decided to go home, instead of staying here to seek asylum and take unfair foreign advantage of Britain's unlimited generosity to refugees. After railing so furiously last week against the Afghans because they wanted to stay, the papers are clearly disappointed that they can't run any more stories about how the Afghans are living in a four-star hotel with fancy room service, because unfortunately (for the papers, and for the Afghans), the remaining passengers are now confined to a holding center in the town of Moreton-in-Marsh, which must seem like the middle of nowhere to them.
It seems like the middle of nowhere to me. And how can it actually be in a marsh (or is it "in marsh" like "in hospital"?).
xxxx Sarah
My Kinky Valentine
By Sarah Lyall
Posted Monday, Feb. 14, 2000, at 11:02 AM ETAlexander Chancellor writes Slate's “International Papers” and a column for the Guardian. Sarah Lyall is a reporter in the London bureau of the New York Times. Highlights from The Fray:
I'm somewhat stupefied over the choice that your magazine made regarding this week's Breakfast Table. Frankly, as an American political junkie, I find it unfathomable that, with one of the most exciting, compelling presidential primary weeks in recent electoral history upon us, you saw fit to have as your Breakfast Table guests this week two expatriates who spent their time debating the fascinating details of British table condiments.
--Lonnie W. Neubauer
(To reply, click
here.)
(But not everyone agreed -
Doug Richardson
replied that
A dollop of painless prattle about condiments is becoming, day by day, more appetizing than the great trough of swill served up by the four cretins who have captivated every marginally literate person with a word processor--I look to Slate for a little of everything on my plate.
And other Fraygrants were happy to deal with the whole wide range of Breakfast Table subjects:)
It's nice to find amidst the stuff about ketchup, Americanisms, Bush vs McCain, and salad cream, an admission of the problems of the British National Health system [Wednesday's entry]. Throughout the great healthcare "debate" of 1992-1994 we were told over and over again that the single-payer system was the way to go, with Britain and Canada cited admiringly. Now who's ready to admit that rationing would be necessary in any kind of scheme to extend healthcare to everyone in the U.S.?
--Edward Brynes
(To reply, click
here.)
To Edward Brynes:
Don't you think that the current American health-care system rations access? It is, in practice, unavailable to approximately 43 million people.
--June Thomas
(To reply, click
here.)
In reply:
Medical care is not actually unavailable to people without insurance, but certainly it is very costly. That's not the same situation as rationing, which to me implies a deliberate policy of allocating treatment according to medical need and feasibility of treatment.
Normally someone in the U.S. with insurance coverage is assured abundant care and little waiting even if there is reason to believe that with all the care in the world he or she won't live more than a few months anyway or will live a greatly impaired life. There is a different philosophy in Britain. Many people, not heartless monsters, have asked what value there can be in maintaining, by complex expensive technology, people in such a situation. Rationing has the effect of freeing up resources.
--Edward Brynes
(To reply, click
here.)
Norway is not a member of the European Union [Tuesday's entry].
--Marian
(To reply, click
here.)
What I've always wanted to know is: Is catsup the same as ketchup? [Wednesday's entry] I've always had a suspicion that catsup was more "U" than ketchup - wasn't there a British, ie non-Heinz variety, called catsup in the '50s? Don't know what the fuss is about salad cream, incidentally. It's just bottled mayonnaise--not very good mayonnaise, sure, but that's not the point. The point is the name; you wouldn't have got my Mum buying something called mayonnaise, but salad cream was nice and homely.
--michael elliott
(To reply, click
here.)
This is a dreadful error of culinary history: no the British did NOT invent catsup. Like many things adopted during the Imperial years, it is an Indian condiment. I have read various spellings of the word, but "ketchep" will do. It is a kind of chutney, not always tomato, but sweet rather than hot, like lemon pickle. My favorite recipe is one that uses sweet red peppers, roasted, skinned, and macerated into a pulp which is then simmered with vinegar, sultanas, onion, garlic, ginger, cardamom, and cinnamon. My private joke is to then blend it all (not really authentic) and serve it with an East Indian meal, in a Heinz pourable catsup bottle. It is just a bit more orange, but no one notices. It tastes nothing like the American product of course, and is tangy and delicious. Bon Appétit!
--Apollonius
(To reply, click
here.)
(2/18)
St. Valentine [Monday's entry] is the patron saint of MESSAGES, because while he was imprisoned he threw little messages out of his cell to cheer up the Christians. Hence St. Valentine's Day is a day to send messages to those important to you. Since the Christian message is "Jesus loves you" and "see how they love one another" and so on, "love" notes come immediately to mind. Since we use only one word for all of the kinds of love (unlike the Greeks), and since we needed a February holiday to buy cards and gifts for (really, study the history of Valentine cards), the target for and meaning of the Valentine changed to more physical ones. The arrows business may come from St. Valentine's execution by being shot through the heart with many arrows.
--tony zapf
(To reply, click
here.)
(2/15)
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Highlights from The Fray:
I'm somewhat stupefied over the choice that your magazine made regarding this week's Breakfast Table. Frankly, as an American political junkie, I find it unfathomable that, with one of the most exciting, compelling presidential primary weeks in recent electoral history upon us, you saw fit to have as your Breakfast Table guests this week two expatriates who spent their time debating the fascinating details of British table condiments.
--Lonnie W. Neubauer
(To reply, click here.)
(But not everyone agreed - Doug Richardson replied that
A dollop of painless prattle about condiments is becoming, day by day, more appetizing than the great trough of swill served up by the four cretins who have captivated every marginally literate person with a word processor--I look to Slate for a little of everything on my plate.
And other Fraygrants were happy to deal with the whole wide range of Breakfast Table subjects:)
It's nice to find amidst the stuff about ketchup, Americanisms, Bush vs McCain, and salad cream, an admission of the problems of the British National Health system [Wednesday's entry]. Throughout the great healthcare "debate" of 1992-1994 we were told over and over again that the single-payer system was the way to go, with Britain and Canada cited admiringly. Now who's ready to admit that rationing would be necessary in any kind of scheme to extend healthcare to everyone in the U.S.?
--Edward Brynes
(To reply, click here.)
To Edward Brynes:
Don't you think that the current American health-care system rations access? It is, in practice, unavailable to approximately 43 million people.
--June Thomas
(To reply, click here.)
In reply:
Medical care is not actually unavailable to people without insurance, but certainly it is very costly. That's not the same situation as rationing, which to me implies a deliberate policy of allocating treatment according to medical need and feasibility of treatment.
Normally someone in the U.S. with insurance coverage is assured abundant care and little waiting even if there is reason to believe that with all the care in the world he or she won't live more than a few months anyway or will live a greatly impaired life. There is a different philosophy in Britain. Many people, not heartless monsters, have asked what value there can be in maintaining, by complex expensive technology, people in such a situation. Rationing has the effect of freeing up resources.
--Edward Brynes
(To reply, click here.)
Norway is not a member of the European Union [Tuesday's entry].
--Marian
(To reply, click here.)
What I've always wanted to know is: Is catsup the same as ketchup? [Wednesday's entry] I've always had a suspicion that catsup was more "U" than ketchup - wasn't there a British, ie non-Heinz variety, called catsup in the '50s? Don't know what the fuss is about salad cream, incidentally. It's just bottled mayonnaise--not very good mayonnaise, sure, but that's not the point. The point is the name; you wouldn't have got my Mum buying something called mayonnaise, but salad cream was nice and homely.
--michael elliott
(To reply, click here.)
This is a dreadful error of culinary history: no the British did NOT invent catsup. Like many things adopted during the Imperial years, it is an Indian condiment. I have read various spellings of the word, but "ketchep" will do. It is a kind of chutney, not always tomato, but sweet rather than hot, like lemon pickle. My favorite recipe is one that uses sweet red peppers, roasted, skinned, and macerated into a pulp which is then simmered with vinegar, sultanas, onion, garlic, ginger, cardamom, and cinnamon. My private joke is to then blend it all (not really authentic) and serve it with an East Indian meal, in a Heinz pourable catsup bottle. It is just a bit more orange, but no one notices. It tastes nothing like the American product of course, and is tangy and delicious. Bon Appétit!
--Apollonius
(To reply, click here.)
(2/18)
St. Valentine [Monday's entry] is the patron saint of MESSAGES, because while he was imprisoned he threw little messages out of his cell to cheer up the Christians. Hence St. Valentine's Day is a day to send messages to those important to you. Since the Christian message is "Jesus loves you" and "see how they love one another" and so on, "love" notes come immediately to mind. Since we use only one word for all of the kinds of love (unlike the Greeks), and since we needed a February holiday to buy cards and gifts for (really, study the history of Valentine cards), the target for and meaning of the Valentine changed to more physical ones. The arrows business may come from St. Valentine's execution by being shot through the heart with many arrows.
--tony zapf
(To reply, click here.)
(2/15)