Johnette Howard and Christine Brennan
Hi Chris--
PRINT
DISCUSS
E-MAIL
RSS
RECOMMEND...
Facebook
MySpace
Mixx
Digg
Reddit
del.icio.us
Furl
Ma.gnolia
Sphere
StumbleUponHad to laugh at that image you conjured up of Michael Jordan sitting in the Washington Wizards locker room by himself, dressed and ready for practice long before anyone else on his newly purchased team showed up. There's a bit of a geek factor there, isn't there? Something that's not usually associated with Jordan, even though he always tells those stories about not being able to get a date in high school.
But I do hope that your characterization of Jordan as the wily veteran who takes a wrecking ball to today's "20-something, multi-millionaire, 'What? Me practice?' sports world" is what happens. But I wonder. Magic Johnson didn't have that impact when he briefly tried coaching the Lakers a few years ago. He found many of the players incorrigibly apathetic or self-absorbed. He quit in disgust. (Now he's playing in Sweden--honest to God--against whom, I don't know. The Flying IKEAs? The Stockholm Saunas? Who? And what do they give away at halftime--snow-blowers?) And did you see yesterday that Dennis Rodman said he's interested in joining the Dallas Mavericks but, quote, "his calendar is booked through this weekend"? Essentially, Rodman would love to join the Mavericks but playing those pesky games just gets in the way.
Clearly, the whole sports scene needs some retooling. The tabloids here in New York have dubbed this Sunday's Super Bowl the "Mayflower Bowl" because both teams, St. Louis and Tennessee, deserted their original homes. Word just got out that Sebastian Janikowski, the pudgy Polish-born kicker at Florida State, may be deported if he's convicted of trying to bribe police to get a friend released from jail. Even the Olympics, which we both consider the most wonderful, stirring, spectacular sports event there is, was tainted by that payola scandal last year. Remember? Representatives from the host city wannabes were funneling payoffs and jobs to International Olympic Committee voters.
What astounded me most was the cheesy stuff the voters requested.
Lawn equipment.
A $524 violin.
A pair of AKC registered bulldogs, or $673 worth of door knobs.
I'm not making this up.
Arrangements were made for the pianist daughter of IOC vice president Kim Un Yong to rehearse with the Berlin Philharmonic when Berlin was seeking the 2000 Games. Though described as only "modestly talented," Kim's daughter also performed with the Melbourne Symphony in 1990 when that city was chasing the Olympics, and with the Utah Symphony in '95.
The Utahans even paid her $5,000.
Presumably to go away.
How many times can you hear Chopsticks?
Still, the undisputed king of graft seems to have been Jean-Claude Ganga, an influential IOC member from the Republic of Congo, who asked for medical treatment for himself, and a free knee replacement for his mother-in-law. His wife, Eugenie, received free cosmetic surgery.
Now seriously, Chris, if you had a bunch of well-heeled businessmen ready to fulfill your every whim, wouldn't you ask for something better than a titanium knee or a riding mower? Whatever ever happened to craving a Porsche? A speedboat? A villa on the coast of Spain? How about a Matisse?
I'm ranting, I know. Perhaps this is just bitterness on my part. When I read about Eugenie's cosmetic surgery, I was stricken by a thought: "You mean IOC members can demand just about anything in exchange for their votes on an Olympic host city, and I chose to be a sportswriter? I've settled for the Rangers' pre-game buffet all these years when I could've had a free nose job instead? What was I thinking?
Johnette
Nine Is So Weird, You Should Probably Go See It
How Will Michael Jackson's Death Change Music?
What Jenny Sanford Wrote in Obama's Facebook News Feed
The 12 Best Cheeses To Serve at Christmas
Oops—I Forgot I Was Piloting This Plane
Can You Believe What Joe Biden Said This Week?