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Tim Carvell and David Shayne

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Stranger Than Parody

By Tim Carvell
Posted Monday, Jan. 17, 2000, at 3:10 PM ET

Well, if kids aren't going to learn smoking from television, then where are they going to learn it? It's not like parents are teaching them anymore, what with their selfish two-career lifestyles.

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Speaking of kids and smoking, did you see the New York Daily News today? (I'm back in New York this week, and one of my favorite things about returning here is the careful division of labor among the city's newspapers: They seem to have a tacit understanding that the Times will supply the city with its news, and the tabloids will supply those things that people actually want to read about. One is never in danger of finding out about, say, the latest news from the Canadian prime minister in the Post. Similarly, one will never read about the latest exploits of Mr. Sean "Puffy" Combs and Miss Jennifer Lopez in the Times. Essay question: How would each paper cover it, should Mr. Sean "Puffy" Combs ever bitch-slap the Canadian prime minister? I'd imagine each would have to have a nut-graf identifying one of the participants. The Times: "Mr. Combs is a hip-hop producer and musician." The Post: "Canada is a large country several hundred miles to the north of New York. Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck went there once.")

In any case, Page 1 of the Daily News is about "herbal cigarettes"--tobacco-free cigarettes that seem to be marketed at kids, as a sort of on-ramp to smoking. What I love about it is, the pack they chose to illustrate the story is something called "Herbal Gold Cherry Flavor," and it depicts a jolly leprechaun with a shamrock in one hand and a cigarette in the other. It is so perfect, so absurd, that it's one of those increasingly common instances where real life defies parody. Had you and I spent weeks trying to mock a cigarette company targeting kids, we couldn't have come up with something so perfect. This seems to be part of a larger trend of real life outpacing satire. There is, for instance, the much-remarked-upon fact that Wag the Dog--which I'm sure seemed daring and bold when it was being filmed--had become tepid and understated by the time it hit theaters. Years ago, I remember seeing an episode of The Critic in which Jay Sherman attended a Broadway musical based on The Hunchback of Notre Dame; it seemed funny at the time, but less so when Disney released a musical version of Hunchback of Notre Dame a few years later. And remember how, in The Player, Richard E. Grant keeps pitching a project called "Habeas Corpus" about a woman on Death Row who falls in love with her lawyer? Ever see Last Dance?

Speaking of self-parody, have you seen the cover of the latest Brill's Content? It features a giant close-up of JonBenet Ramsey's head, along with the following cover language: "Why does the three-year-old murder of a little girl continue to captivate the media? Because there's fast cash to be made, even if it means letting tabloid tactics and undisguised spin rule the story." Not, of course, that Brill's Content would ever do something so exploitative as to plaster a dead child's image across the cover of its--oh, wait. Never mind. I can't wait for next month's issue of the magazine, featuring a scantily clad model and the caption, "Why does Penthouse feature nude pictorials? Because there's fast cash to be made, even if it is degrading to women. (More pictures inside, pages 65 to 78.)"

Brill's has, by the way, been mysteriously silent on the AOL-Time Warner merger. Or, at least, its Web site has--not a peep since the deal was announced. Since we both work at Time Warner publications, do you have any thoughts on being owned by AOL now? I actually quite enjoy the new system they've put in place in our lobby, so that every time I enter the building, a voice announces, "You've Got Tim!"

Best,
Tim

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