HOME / the breakfast table: An e-mail conversation about the news of the day.

Matt Cooper and Harry Shearer

In God They Trust

Posted Friday, Jan. 7, 2000, at 10:59 AM ET

Harry,

Sorry, you've got the flu. The papers here are filled with stories about how fast it's spreading and how everyone should get shots. You've inspired yours truly to get one.

The GOP debate was ugly, but in some ways so much more satisfying than the Dems, who essentially agreed on everything but who's shrillness knew no bounds. A few thoughts: As long as these guys have nothing to say about HMOs, prescription drugs, and education (besides vouchers), they're going to have a tough time winning back the White House. Second, I totally agree re Keyes. True connoisseurs of Keyes noticed his constant reference to the Declaration of Independence. Die-hard Straussians--followers of the late Leo Strauss, of whom I gather Keyes is one--love the Declaration more than the Constitution because it's got God in the lead. Normally, one might think that the Constitution preempts the Declaration, but not for Alan. One tries to imagine what would happen if an assistant secretary from the Carter administration kept running in Democratic primaries. It would, of course, be a joke.

McCain's edgy smile--clearly designed to make him look friendly, not crazy--seemed a tad annoying, but the guy was the most impressive overall, I thought. Bush did pretty well, but he never answered the heaven question directly. Seemed to me he doesn't believe that non-Christians go to heaven. Not that this matters especially.

Have we gone over the Linda Tripp plastic surgery? My colleagues at People have an exclusive today on how it was done. The doc says it was tricky because she was built like a man, and men, I gather, are tougher to work on. This makes the John Goodman impression on Saturday Night Live all the better.

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I see the "tech-heavy" Nasdaq continues its New Year sell-off. I gather inflation fears are still gripping the street. Please. Inflation's been pretty much slayed, but the bond-holding class can't let go of their '70s-esque fears of soaring prices. It ain't gonna happen for a lot of complicated reasons. None of this would matter so much except it's keeping wages down. Whenever wages start to go up a bit--God forbid, workers should see their salaries jump--Wall Street gets jittery about inflation and the Fed pumps the brakes. Hey, guys, 3 percent growth is great, but on this one I'm a Forbes guy. I think we can grow faster.

Enough of that. Anything fun in the Los Angeles Times?

--Matt

In God They Trust

Posted Friday, Jan. 7, 2000, at 10:59 AM ET
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Matt Cooper, a part-time comedian, is the deputy Washington bureau chief for Time magazine. His comedy can be seen on Slate. Harry Shearer is an actor and director, the voice of a dozen characters on The Simpsons, and the author of It's the Stupidity, Stupid (click here to buy it).
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