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Matt Cooper and Harry Shearer

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The Jenny Craig World Tour

By Matt Cooper
Posted Tuesday, Jan. 4, 2000, at 11:16 AM ET

Morning, Harry

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D'you catch Monica Lewinsky on Larry King last night? I've had this reaction before, but I couldn't help but have it again: What was Clinton thinking? Of all the sex options open to a president, this was a helluva pick. This, I realize, is not exactly a stunning insight, but since the Jenny Craig World Tour has begun, I couldn't help feeling it. I also couldn't help but feel pity for the gal. She's got a bazillion dollars in legal bills thanks to the Scarlet Letter Special Counsel, and she has to do this humiliating weight gig with Jenny Craig in order to pay off the bills. (I believed her when she said that this was the most tasteful of the offers she got.) By the way, my favorite line from the scandal, which I think reduces the whole thing to one sentence, is the line from Clinton in which he said to Monica--I'm not making this up--"You can always say you were bringing me pizza."

I see the administration is getting ready to let Elian Gonzalez, the cuban boy/political football, go back to his native land. The Washington Post reports that they're going to cut a deal in which the father comes here and picks the kid up. I fear this whole thing will get even more bizarre. Won't anti-Castro groups in South Florida try to hide the kid? Then we'll have months of MSNBC on "Where's Elian?" I don't have particularly strong feelings about where he belongs. Did the father have any real role in the kid's life? What kind of home is he in now? (I've got doubts about any home that invites camera crews and congressmen in to meet with the boy.)

The Gore-Bradley race, I see, is heating up with each tossing out charges that the other one is a mere tinkerer and not bold enough. Neither guy is exactly a poster child for radical change, it seems to me. It's only January and I'm already tired of Bradley's pedantic tone and Gore's you-voted-for-vouchers-20-years-ago tone.

Anything interesting in the Los Angeles Times this morning?