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Timothy Noah and Marjorie Williams

the breakfast table
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from: Timothy Noah

Fear and Loathing in Nigeria

Posted Wednesday, July 8, 1998, at 11:59 AM ET

Good morning! Today I managed to sit at both breakfast tables, Actual and Virtual. Or at least stand near the Actual one, while you and I sang "Zip-A-Dee-Do-Da" and watched Alice dance in her pretty red dress. (I noticed that you favor, "There's a bluebird on my shoulder," while I go for the more patriarchal, "Mister Bluebird's on my shoulder.")

Hectic day yesterday, so I didn't get back to Newsweek's story about how overpraising your child can turn him/her into a psychopath. In fact, it was so hectic that I couldn't track down a copy of Newsweek. But your note did set me to worrying about an exchange I had the other day with Willie (age 5). He told me Australia is the hottest place on earth. I told him I thought not, because it isn't on the equator. He said it is! and cited as his reference the unimpeachable Disney Channel. I dropped it (though later we did find a globe and I showed him where the equator was). Now I'm feeling bad that I didn't make it a priority to find out what the hottest place on earth really is. In addition to wanting to assert my Dad-ly authority, I think that, given Willie's strong interest in science, we should keep him well-informed. I'll see what I can find out on the web today; maybe even make a call to NOAA (short for National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration; it's a part of the Commerce department, and is pronounced just like my last name).

Louis Goldstein, the recently-deceased longtime comptroller of Maryland, got an astounding sendoff: His funeral actually made the A section of the New York Times. Not bad for a state-government official little-known off his home turf. I guess part of his appeal is that he served an unprecedentedly long term that included an unusually dirty period in Maryland politics--the 1970s--and yet he didn't end up in jail. (The scandals even reached the Nixon White House; remember Vice President Spiro "nolo contendre" Agnew?) It's nice to see a veteran government official treated with affection in this politics-hating age. Ellen Sauerbrey, the conservative Republican who's challenging incumbent governor Parris Glendening, didn't show at the funeral, according to the Times. Dumb move, Ellen. (Note to readers: My view of Maryland politics is colored by my admiration and deep affection for Lt. Gov. Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, on whose unsuccessful congressional campaign I served as issues director 12 years ago. My one and only instance of "crossing the line" from journalism into politics.)

The big news today is Nigeria. As you know, I hold this account, taking my cue from a memorable column by Calvin Trillin about how he and his wife Alice divide responsibility for keeping up with the news of the world. (In our case, I do a spotty job of keeping up with the best foreign stories, while you're responsible for acquiring a highly nuanced understanding of the collapse of city government in the District of Columbia.)

Anyway, Nigeria. You'll like this story if you give it a chance. The political intrigue there is unbelievably serpentine, and somewhat reminiscent of the bad old days in Ancient Rome. If your erudite and fun-loving father, who I miss very much, were still with us, he could point us to the proper text. (Livy? Suetonius?) Being a middlebrow, I take as mine Robert Graves's I, Claudius and Claudius the God, along with a few scattered episodes from the Masterpiece Theater adaptation.

The question before us is whether Moshood K.O. Abiola, Nigeria's most famous political prisoner, died of natural causes yesterday when he keeled over in the middle of a meeting with Thomas Pickering, U.S. undersecretary of state for political affairs, and Susan Rice, assistant secretary for African Affairs. (I'm not implying, of course, that Pickering and Rice dun it.) This comes not long after the death of despised Nigerian dictator Gen. Sani Abacha, who had a suspicious heart attack. I don't usually go in for these sort of stories, viewing them as the province of paranoiacs, but in this instance respectable opinion gives weighty consideration to the possibility of foul play in both instances.

The Geopolitical Significance is that the Nigerians export a lot of oil to the U.S., which last time I checked was more heavily dependent on foreign oil than ever before (a fact we tend to ignore because oil prices are relatively cheap).

Check it out,

Tim


the breakfast table
entries
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from: Timothy Noah

Fear and Loathing in Nigeria

Posted Wednesday, July 8, 1998, at 11:59 AM ET
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Timothy Noah writes Slate's "Chatterbox" column. Marjorie Williams is a contributing editor at Vanity Fair.
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