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the book club: New books dissected over e-mail.

A Selection of Self-Help Books

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from: Jeffrey Goldberg

Be Here Now. Or Later. Or Whenever.

Posted Monday, July 12, 1999, at 5:01 PM ET

Dear Emily,

First, let me say that I honor and revere you for your contribution to this dialogue. And not only that--I honor and revere you just for you being you. As Iyanla Vanzant--who is not, as I previously thought, Khrushchev's daughter--might say, I honor the divine, ever-evolving "is" that is you. Three cheers for Yoffe.

There--I have now fulfilled Item No. 20 on Richard Carlson's to-do list: "Once a week, write a heartfelt letter."

I must admit that, in the spirit of Carlson, who is described in his biography as a "consultant" on "happiness"--I think he worked for McKinsey and Co. at one point--I almost bagged out of this week's "Book Club." As the happiness consultant writes in "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... ", "remember that nothing is more important than your own sense of happiness and inner peace and that of your loved ones. If you're obsessed with getting everything done, you'll never have a sense of well-being. In reality, almost everything can wait." How true! If the Book Club doesn't come out this week, it'll come out next week! Or not! Whatever! For further instruction in this area, Emily, please buy my new book (and audiotape), The Procrastinator's Guide to Simplicity, Better Sex, and Online Investing, which Hyperion is publishing in the spring of 2001, or the fall of 2007, or whenever.

You are probably asking yourself, O revered Yoffe, "Why, then, did my dear friend Goldberg not bag out of the 'Book Club' when the maintenance of his spiritual health is obviously so important to him, and to me, as one who reveres him?"

Because, dear Yoffe, I promised I would do it. Also, I don't want to get my ass kicked by a certain New York-based editor of Slate.

Herein lies a problem--one of many--with Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, and One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, too. I get the sense reading these books--or trying to read them, because, as you correctly note (so perceptive, that Yoffe!), they are almost impossible to read--that what they advocate is nothing so much as selfishness. You magnanimously summarize one lesson of these books as, "You've got to attend to your inner state before you can help anyone else." But I take away something slightly different: "You've got to attend to your inner state, and do whatever you want with the time left over, as long as that includes buying my next book."

Dr. (!) Carlson writes that "If someone throws you the ball, you don't have to catch it." He goes on: "Suppose you're really busy when a friend calls in a frantic tone and says, 'My mother is driving me crazy. What should I do?' Rather than saying, 'I'm really sorry but I don't know what to suggest,' you automatically catch the ball and try to solve the problem. Then later, you feel stressed or resentful that you are behind schedule and that everyone seems to be making demands on you." Yeesh. They don't call it "self-help" for nothing.

I could go on, but let me honor your divinity by answering a couple of your questions.

Yes, Dr. Cutler, the purported Boswell to the Dalai Lama's Dr. Johnson, bothers me. First, he wears a denim jacket in his author's photo, which suggests to me that he's not interested in the pursuit of inner peace as much as he is the pursuit of the sort of physical satisfaction sworn off by his spiritual leader. Also, there's the fact that Dr. Cutler barely knows the Dalai Lama. As for your question re Buddhist philosophy in the face of evil, I need some room to dilate on this subject, but, in short, Tibetan Buddhists have never been as passive in the face of Chinese aggression as the followers of Americanized Buddhism would like--or need--to believe.

It is you, divine Yoffe, who pointed out to me another theme shared by these books: bland passivity. The whole self-help genre sometimes seems to be about passivity in the face of evil. But "evil," of course, is not a concept New Age gurus even acknowledge. The most egregious assertion Iyanla Vanzant makes, to me, is this: In her "morning nonjudgment affirmation," she writes: "There is no right or wrong, there is only is," and, "People do what they do based on their feelings and beliefs, which are not right or wrong."

Yoffe, you're a smart one--could you please explain to me what the hell she is talking about? She surely doesn't mean what I think she means, or does she? Oh, one more thing. In answer to your question about whether reading these books is helping me to revere my enemies, I'm happy to report that I have no enemies, since I am at perfect peace. How 'bout you?

Non-sweatingly yours,
Jeff

the book club
entries
12345678
from: Jeffrey Goldberg

Be Here Now. Or Later. Or Whenever.

Posted Monday, July 12, 1999, at 5:01 PM ET
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Self-help books Emily Yoffe is the former "Keeping Tabs" columnist for Slate and a free-lance writer in Washington, D.C. Jeffrey Goldberg, a regular contributor to Slate, is a contributing writer to the New York Times Magazine. This week they are discussing these self-help books: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff . and It's All Small Stuff, by Richard Carlson (click hereto buy the book); The Art of Happiness, by the Dalai Lama (click hereto buy the book); One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, by Iyanla Vanzant (click hereto buy the book).
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