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from: David Carr

Don't Tread on D.C.

Posted Thursday, June 17, 1999, at 11:20 AM ET

My friend in letters,

Am in the Midwest today, and took a walk outside the hermetic digisphere that I usually make my way through. At the coffee shop this morning, people seemed interested in one another, not the morning papers. Two women who did not know each other fell into conversation about nothing in particular. Apart from some linguistic idiosyncracies--insert your own Lake Wobegone joke here--I was riveted by the fact that people would take the time to talk about nothing in particular with someone they did not know. Never happen in Washington, or Los Angeles for that matter. I finally got so distracted I had to move to read the local papers.

Both the Minneapolis Star Tribune and the St. Paul Pioneer Press were fronted by huge stories about the arrest--after 25 years--of Symbionese Liberation Army fugitive Kathleen Ann Soliah, now living in St. Paul. She got clipped because America's Most Wanted did a 25th-anniversary special on the kidnappers of Patty Hearst who are still at large. The leads kicked up by the show eventually led to Sara Jane Olson--is that Minnesotan enough for you?--and she was taken into custody.

And so what was the former alleged bank robber, bomb-maker, and terrorist doing? Well, let's just say she was driving a minivan when she got pulled over. She's married to a local doctor, has three girls, and has spent a lot of her time working as an actress in community theater. The tentacles of the bourgeoisie, whom she once railed against as piggies while she was living in the underground, had reached up and ensnared her. S'pose for folks like you, who are fond of revealing lefty idiosyncrasies in all of their archaic splendor, it's a hoot to watch people who used to chant "viva la raza" showing up as soccer moms.

It happened to me. I was at the 1974 Yippie campout--I ate the brown acid--and there was not much to fight for save our right to party. Nixon was gone and the war was over. And slowly by slowy, I became what I assailed. I drive a sport ute, I attend all my daughter's soccer games, and even though I own a few Clash discs, I don't find myself sticking them in my Explorer's CD very often.

The one issue that still finds some crackle in my diminished progressive soul is gun control. I was afraid of guns even when I used to be involved in the dark side of life, and that hasn't changed. I did check the Web long enough to find out that the gun control laws in the District of Columbia are under attack from some yahoo from East Penciltucky. According to the Washington Post:

A rural Virginia congressman has proposed a one-sentence amendment to pending gun control legislation in the House that would repeal the District's ban on handgun ownership, gutting the city's 23-year-old gun laws.

Admittedly, the laws haven't stopped D.C. from seeming like a particularly wide open turkey shoot on occasion, but at least our bad guys have to go a few miles to get their guns. And if the neighboring states--like Virginia fer instance--had incrementally tougher laws, our own laws might make be more effective.

The assault on home rule is breathtaking. Forget all of this Republican bullshit about state's rights--when it comes to the District, we have none. We are the laboratory for every freak from the hinterlands who wants to set up a petri dish for his pet attempt at social engineering. He oughta be shot.

Thank god for a well-armed militia,
David

the breakfast table
entries
123456789101112131415161718192021
from: David Carr

Don't Tread on D.C.

Posted Thursday, June 17, 1999, at 11:20 AM ET
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David Carr is the editor of the Washington City Paper. Jill Stewart is a political columnist at New Times Los Angeles.
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