David Carr and Jill Stewart

Dear David,

No I don't own a gun. Only assholes own guns. Also, my boobs are real. As to your fat body, or your pasty skin, or your back hair or whatever--it won't matter where I'm taking you. When we get to the Westside, we'll hang with the environmentalists. They are a fat, pasty, hairy bunch. Also a skinny, gangly, badly dressed bunch. But the best people, obviously.

We'll take you on a tour of the Ballona Wetlands, before most of it gets covered with 4 million cubic tons of dirt and practically enough cement to line the Panama Canal.

You won't read much about it in Washington, but I'll be in court watching to see if Spielberg, Geffen, Katzenberg, Gates, Allen, and their partners get a big fat favor from the Clinton appointees to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, where Ballona's fate will soon be decided.

Funny, isn't it, how all roads seem to lead to Washington? I realize now, that's why you're there.

Signing off, ciao and na sledano,
Jill