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Philip Weiss and Zo‰ Heller

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from: Zo‰ Heller

The Better Part of Valor Isn't Always Discretion

Posted Wednesday, June 9, 1999, at 8:23 PM ET

Dear Philip,

I finished the novel. It just came out in England (whence I have recently returned from a publicity binge) and will be published here in the autumn. The English tour was a bit dispiriting. I've never been on the victim side of an interview (or indeed a review) before. One of my publicity stops was at a BBC radio station, where my host, a sports expert, began by saying, "Do you know anything about football?" I confessed that I didn't. He looked a bit glum about this. "Well," he said, "I've read one chapter of your book and I must say, I found it unutterably depressing." After that, Kevin Keegan, coach of the English soccer squad, rang in and the two men chatted about Manchester United's recent performance for 15 minutes. I ate a sandwich and then I was sent home.

I also appeared on something called The Vanessa Show, which is, I am told, Britain's answer to Oprah. I came on just after a very rowdy segment about bras which featured two chesty blonde models cavorting (braless) about the studio. Needless to say, a certain bathos attended my lugubrious mutterings about novel-writing. When it came time for questions from the audience, there was only one man with a question. He pointed rather sneerily at my pregnant belly and said, "Are you one of those people who planned their baby for the millennium?"

I'm intrigued by your interest in marital age gaps. I'm mildly interested myself, but only because the man I live with is 16 years my senior. I'm always waiting for someone to chastise him for cradle-snatching, or to mistake him for my father--but disappointingly, no one seems to notice the chasm of years that divides us. He's pretty young for his age and my dewiness, as you know, isn't what it was.

That review of the Shena Mackay novel in the Times was weird. It started out nice and then, just when you were thinking, "Well, good for you Shena," it turned grim. One worrying thing I've noticed about Zoes in fiction--they're either wacky, kooky little misses, or they're pretentious, urban types on the make. (Shena's Zoe is clearly one of the latter.) Generally speaking, though, I'm very happy that the name is popular. It means that more and more people are learning how to pronounce it. Pretty soon, I'll be able to get through an entire day without anyone referring to me as Zo or Zowie. Or Zoo.

Re Louima--I'm beginning to see a pattern to your takes on current affairs. Your standard strategy is to dutifully state your adherence to the liberal position (yes, I'm very concerned about the situation in Kosovo; yes, I'm pro-choice; yes, isn't it great that racist cops are getting put away?) and then deftly pre-empt any charges of bleeding heartism by passionately decrying the complacency/hypocrisy/posturing of the liberal elite. It's a very neat little one-two punch.

Personally, I have a lot of sympathy for cops in general, but none for cops who, having witnessed mad, sexual assaults, decide that the better part of valor is discretion.

Love, Z

the breakfast table
entries
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from: Zo‰ Heller

The Better Part of Valor Isn't Always Discretion

Posted Wednesday, June 9, 1999, at 8:23 PM ET
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Philip Weiss is a novelist and a columnist for the New York Observer. Zo‰ Heller lives in New York and writes for British papers.
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