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One Ear on the News

By Tony Horwitz
Posted Monday, March 22, 1999, at 10:14 AM ET

Geraldine:

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Here's what you missed at the breakfast table. Natty had cereal, I had toast. I built a fire and, as usual, smoked up the kitchen. "Make the smoke go out!" Natty shouted, coughing. I opened the door to let some air in, and Sunday's unread papers blew on the floor. I tried to scan the "Book Review," but Natty wanted Bulldozer. As we read about backhoes, I turned on the radio to hear NPR. "What is that noise?" Natty demanded. "I want songs." I turned it down and kept on reading, one ear on the news.

"Dump trucks are enormous and strong ... "

"Special envoy Richard Holbrooke is headed to Belgrade ... "

"Excavators are used to dig deep holes ... "

"Shakespeare in Love was the big winner ... "

" ... to pick up things and smash up rocks."

" ... the horrible thing about genocide is you can't prove it."

Genocide? I tried to catch the place. Rwanda? Kosovo? Guatemala? There was also something on Kevorkian. Sorry, I missed that, too. Do most people get their news in these disembodied snatches? I did hear that a cyclone named Vance (Vance?) hit the Australian outback and they're worried about sheep stations and Aborigines. So much for nothing bad ever happening to your homeland. Also, there was something about bears sleeping for five months without losing muscle tone. Scientists think humans might be able to do the same. No more aerobics!