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New Republic, Dec. 30
(posted Friday, Dec. 13)
The "Neocon v. Theocon" cover story analyzes the growing fissure between neoconservatives who believe America's government works pretty well, and religious conservatives who believe it is an illegitimate "regime" that violates God's laws (especially those laws concerning abortion and homosexuality). The Weekly Standard put the same subject on the cover several weeks ago. TNR's new twist to the debate is blaming neocons for bringing this anti-American revolt on themselves by enlisting theocons into the conservative movement. Also, a funny article slams the Center for Science in the Public Interest, whose "public interest" seems to be destroying all the pleasure of eating. And TNR reprints poet Wislawa Szymborska's Nobel acceptance speech: She explains how hard it is to explain poetry.
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Economist, Dec. 14
(posted Friday, Dec. 13)
The Economist discusses a favorite and thoroughly opaque topic, the European Monetary Union (EMU). The lead article argues that a German-proposed "stability pact" regulating EMU eligibility is flawed. The accompanying editorial agrees, adding that the pact could destroy currency union forever if it's not fixed. A story examines the computer monopoly of--surprise, surprise--IBM: Big Blue still holds 83 percent of the mainframe market. It's friendlier to competitors than Microsoft, and rivals seem to be eroding its domination. Also, an immense survey of Spain: The EMU is considered at length.
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Vanity Fair, January 1997
(posted Friday, Dec. 13)
Vanity Fair offers a new spin on the feud between Rupert Murdoch and Time Warner/Ted Turner. The magazine reports that Time Warner promised a Manhattan cable channel to both Murdoch's Fox News and MSNBC, but then Turner reneged on the deal with Fox because he feared that two new news channels would threaten CNN's franchise. Also, JFK mistress Judith Campbell Exner claims that Kennedy impregnated her in 1962, then had mobster Sam Giancana arrange an abortion. A profile sympathizes with Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams, and a stupendously complicated article tries to explicate the Rothschild dynasty's troubles. Goldie Hawn is on the cover; inside, she poses in a gold bodysuit.
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Harper's, January 1997
(posted Friday, Dec. 13)
In "Prisoner of War," a combat correspondent who has reported from Chechnya, Uganda, Sri Lanka, and Beirut offers an impressionistic essay explaining the lure of battle. A professor of African-American studies contends that Kwanzaa's "paltry, contrived symbols" don't do justice to the story of black America (For SLATE's account of Kwanzaa, see "The Gist.") And a review condemns a book about T.S. Eliot's anti-Semitism, denouncing the "deeply conservative desire to bring all cultural expression into harmony with the moral conventions of our day."
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New York Times Magazine, Dec. 15
(posted Thursday, Dec. 12)
The cover story, based on a survey of 32 historians, ranks the presidents of the United States. Arthur Schlesinger Jr., who conducted the poll, finds few surprises: Washington, Lincoln, and Franklin Roosevelt top the list; Buchanan, Grant, Hoover, Nixon, and others pull up the rear; and all presidents since Nixon are clumped in the middle. Schlesinger counsels Clinton that he can improve his ranking for posterity by embarking on a grand project, such as national education reform (hasn't Bill already tried that?). Also, an article details the strange academic feud over whether Melville beat his wife. And, a conservative scholar argues that America should use force to stop starvation and slaughter in distant lands.
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Time, Dec. 16
(posted Tuesday, Dec. 10)
Having already explored cyber-culture, cyber-commerce, cyber-sex, cyber-news, cyber-tainment, and cyber-just-about-everything-else, Time moves on to cyber-religion. The cover package, "Jesus Online," tours religious Web sites and discussion groups, then declares that the "high-speed spiritual bazaar" may transform religion by creating virtual spiritual communities. "[The Internet] is a vast cathedral of the mind ... where faith can be shaped and defined by a collective spirit." (A Time Web search locates 410,000 references to God, and only 25,000 references to Bill Gates.) A profile of Madeleine Albright enthuses that she has "the heart of a teacher ... and the skills of a talk-show host." And Time describes Florida billionaire Wayne "Blockbuster Video" Huizenga's ambitious plan for a nationwide chain of no-haggle car dealerships.
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Newsweek, Dec. 16
(posted Tuesday, Dec. 10)
Newsweek encroaches on U.S. News' "news you can use" franchise with a cover package on retirement investing. "The New Nest Egg" advises aging boomers to keep a sharp eye on their 401(K) plans and to diversify their portfolios (i.e., don't just buy U.S. stocks). A sidebar assures boomers that they "won't have to live on dog food" in their "golden years" because they are wealthier than their parents; more have pensions; and many are in two-earner families. A related feature predicts a bear market, then explains why it won't be such a bad thing. The Madeleine Albright profile, "The Lady Is a Hawk," emphasizes her strength and determination, but a commentator warns that Clinton's new foreign-policy team is dangerously lacking in vision. And a behind-the-scenes look at Madonna's Evita.
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The New Yorker, Dec. 16
(posted Tuesday, Dec. 10)
A feature traces the weird relationship between FBI agent Lin DeVecchio and his Mafia informant, Gregory Scarpa, a Colombo crime-family hit man. According to the article, Scarpa may have used confidential information supplied to him by DeVecchio to assassinate rivals. A long review of a Picasso biography declares that most of his painting is lousy, and that his reputation survives only because it is protected by an unthinking "Picasso cult." Also, Joe Klein (late of Primary Colors and Newsweek) delivers his first dispatch as the magazine's Washington correspondent, predicting that Clinton and the Republican Congress will cooperate.
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U.S. News & World Report, Dec. 16
(posted Tuesday, Dec. 10)
U.S. News rings in the holidays with "Sweatshop Christmas." The cover story acknowledges that labor standards differ--a terrible job for an American may be a wonderful opportunity for a Haitian--but says some American firms do too little to protect workers. Disney, Nike, and Guess are slapped; Levi-Strauss is praised. In "I'm OK, You're Not," U.S. News considers this paradox: Most Americans think the country is collapsing, but they also think that they personally are doing fine. Even residents of Cabrini-Green, the notorious Chicago housing project, love living there. They think the rest of Chicago is dangerous. Also, a photo essay on Korean "comfort women," and a review of cruise ships.
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Weekly Standard, Dec. 16
(posted Tuesday, Dec. 10)
A Freudian slip by the Standard? Its cover headline reads, "Suppose there is a gay gene ... What then?" Below it: "Maybe You Should Carry a Handgun"--the tease for another story. The gay-gene article argues for the genetic origins of homosexuality ("[It] is like left-handedness, and is neither chosen nor pathological"), then explains why the gay gene should delight conservatives: It vindicates the conservative view of human nature--that "we are born with many important aspects of the way we are." More important, it raises the possibility that gene therapy can transform homos into heteros. The editorial, pegged to the suspension of the California Civil Rights Initiative by a federal judge, denounces the judicial branch's arrogance and suggests abolishing lifetime tenure for federal judges. Also, the Standard ridicules James Carville's assault on Kenneth Starr.
--Compiled by David Plotz and the editors of SLATE.

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