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Ad Report Card: Amazon's Holiday Irony

Rob WalkerPosted Monday, Dec. 18, 2000, at 4:04 PM ET

Christmas isn't even here yet, and already the bad news for e-tailers has been piling up like undelivered gifts in a warehouse. The combination of tentative consumer spending and a wave of skepticism about whether shopping online is reliable has made many observers skeptical. This is the third consecutive holiday season to be widely described as make-or-break for online commerce, and with only a handful of shopping days left, this is the Ad Report Card's last chance to weigh in on the commercial efforts of dot-com merchants. Really there is only one choice for which merchant to evaluate: It must be Amazon.com. Specifically, let's consider the return, this year, for what is apparently their final performance, of the "Sweatermen." Ads featuring this spoof of a pre-Beatles era men's chorus can be viewed here and here.

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The ads: Thirteen men wearing dark sweaters stand on a bare-bones sound stage decorated with giant snowflakes. Corny, Lawrence Welk-ish music plays. The men sing. As they sing, each hops to face the camera, revealing a letter on his sweater. The letters spell out "emahtskcblvdt," which the singers pronounce "e-MOT-skee-bluh-VOT." Their little choral number, punctuated with accordion chirps, explains that each letter stands for an Amazon.com product category--electronics, music, auctions, etc.--and that "only Amazon's got emahtskcblvdt."

In another spot the dorky choir, this time in powder-blue sweaters and again in a self-consciously spare setting, stand among gifts that are "wrapped" in such a way as to make it perfectly clear what they are: a scooter, a canoe, a car. With their big, absurd smiles, they sing about various other items for sale at Amazon, the payoff this time being, "You'll never guess what I got you, at Amazon.com."

Encore? These fellows are the creation of the San Francisco branch of the ad firm FCB Worldwide, and this is actually the second campaign to feature them. The first round of Sweatermen spots appeared during the 1999 holiday season and was apparently received well enough that Amazon figured it would be a good idea to release a new batch this year, including these two. An Amazon brand honcho noted in November that the Sweatermen are "earnest, approachable and welcoming, like Amazon.com, even for the most tentative new online shopper." There is also, obviously, some attempt at irony and humor built into the spots as well--these old-timey fellows representing the shopping experience of the future and all that. (In another bit of irony perhaps less humorous to those involved, the Sweatermen are apparently headed the way of Welk, since Amazon and FCB parted ways about three weeks after these commercials debuted in late November.)

I was interested in these ads partly because a reader who clearly can't stand them complained to me about how cheap-looking they are. And it's true that what might have come across as endearing unpretentiousness a year ago does seem a bit low-rent now. It's hindsight to say so, but this holiday season is probably one in which an online merchant is better off avoiding production values on a par with local car dealerships. And while I can't say these ads bothered me all that much, they do strike me as being a little tepid. It's fine to point out that Amazon's selection bests that of most online retailers, but then again, so does Wal-Mart's.

The Grade: On the other hand, the spots certainly stand out, and I sheepishly admit that I find some of the jingles kind of catchy. So in an assessment partly spiked with holiday generosity, I'll give them a C-plus. The biggest problem, it seems to me, is that the schmaltzy singing is basically a one-note gag that goes nowhere in defining Amazon--and Amazon could actually use some definition now that the mesmerizing-miracle-company free ride of press hype has petered out. E-tailers ought to get over the novelty factor and have a real message by next holiday season--because I'll bet the experts will declare next holiday season to be make-or-break for online commerce.

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Rob Walker writes the Ad Report Card for Slate.

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Reader Comments from The Fray:

[Notes from the Fray Editor: An astonishing number of people knew what Old-Timer tells us below. Someone going by that name has an excuse, but who'd have thought that's how most Fray posters spent their youth? Don Warren said "Production values and sweaters to match". And readers liked the ads: "Lighten up, Grinch."]

Just to let you know. The Sweatermen in the Amazon.com spots are actually a parody of the old Sing Along with Mitch television show. This featured Mitch Miller and the band. And it is why there are lyrics for the spots underneath the singers. We're supposed to sing along!

--Old-Timer

(To reply, click here.)

I want an online vendor that will be around next year. And the year after that. So, it is nice to see one that is trying to save money. After reading about multi million dollar parties in Las Vegas after the IPO's, it is no wonder so many dot coms are dot dead. So if the ad looks less expensive, it is just what I want to see.

--Gary Masters

(To reply, click here.)

Both the Amazon ads and Priceline ads lately have had a major defect which the Walker piece ignores. While brand awareness is an objective of marketing, as Walker discusses with relation to the cultural implications of the format, another more important purpose of advertising is providing information to possible customers. Here is where both organizations are failing, possibly due to the fact that they have nothing to tell their customers which would be of value to such customers. Amazon and Priceline used to be pretty swell innovations, but they aren't anymore. When you are only selling the past, you get these essentially meaningless ads.

Compare these fluffy ads for Amazon to the advertisement for UPS where the dot.com startup staff watches their new site generate a real order execution challenge. The ad is funny, the message is real. Amazon should wish they were so well-positioned.

--Tom R

(To reply, click here.)

(12/21)

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