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Al Gore, Leader of the Pack

Timothy Noah
Posted Monday, Nov. 1, 1999, at 3:50 PM ET

[Naomi] Wolf has argued internally that Gore is a "Beta male" who needs to take on the "Alpha male" in the Oval Office before the public will see him as the top dog.
--Time magazine, Nov. 8 issue

Adviser Pushes Gore To Be Leader of the Pack
--New York Times headline, Nov. 1

"How long do ah have to wear this motorcycle helmet, Naomi? Ah feel silly."

"We're going to do the Wild One exercise again, Mr. Vice President. Ahem. 'Hey kid, what are you rebelling against?' "

"Ah don't know. Do you have anything that would be good to rebel against?"

"Oh dear. Perhaps we'd better start with some warm-up exercises first. Who put the bop in the bop she bop she bop?"

"Ah did."

"Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a ding dong?"

"Ah did."

"Louder."

"Ah did."

"Maybe you'd better take the motorcycle helmet off."

"AH DID."

"That's better. Are you a 40-minute man?"

"No."

"Are you a 50-minute man?"

"NO."

"Are you a 60-minute man?"

"YES, THAT'S ME! AH'M A 60-MINUTE MAN!"

"Now let's do 'Who de man?' "

"Ah'm de man!"

"No, you say, 'Who de man?' and then I say 'You de man.' "

"Oh. Who de man?"

"You de man."

"WHO DE MAN?"

"YOU DE MAN!"

"Naomi?"

"Yes, Mr. Vice President?"

"You aren't planning to tell anybody about this, are you?"

"Of course not, Mr. Vice President."

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Timothy Noah is a senior writer at Slate.
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