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Impersonnel Department

Jack ShaferPosted Monday, Aug. 18, 1997, at 7:18 PM ET

Rejection is at hand. Well, maybe no further than a walk to your e-mail inbox. Student.Net, an interactive site geared towards undergrads, has established the "Reject-O-Matic" automatic mailer to help you send hurtful "rejection" letters to your ambitious colleagues. Just fill out a "mad-libs" type template and in a few seconds your friends--or foes--will receive insulting rejection letters from the personnel departments of one of several major U.S. corporations. You can even customize the form to change the name of the preset corporate giant (Salomon Brothers, Arthur Andersen, Circle K, etc.) or designated entry-level position (sandwich artist, towel boy, etc.).

Feeling somewhat lazy, Chatterbox used the available presets of "popular corporate giant," "popular entry-level position," "popular notable talent," and "reason the applicant was rejected," to generate the following letter:

Dear Mr. Gates,

There were over one million applications to Microsoft's competitive Analytic Business Services Consultant program this year.

Upon review of your resume, we have found that this Microsoft program is not a suitable match for your skills.

We wish you great success in future endeavors, where you can fully make use of your family member who owns the company, and won't be hindered by the fact that, for our Analytic Business Services Consultant program, you were a little bit too enthusiastic.

Sincerely,

Recruiting Department

Microsoft

E-mail Timothy Noah at .

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Jack Shafer is Slate's editor at large. Follow him on Twitter.
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