Don’t You Wonder? – Brian Belknap

The cherries this season aren’t nearly as sweet
As the ones from our first July
Maybe the reasons the rain, or the wrong kind of heat
Or the lingering taste of December’s goodbye

Don’t you wonder where the color goes
When the blush is off the rose
Searching for another starry eye

They pulled up the jasmine, the night blooming jasmine
That perfumed our front porch flirtations
Gone with the passion, and the sound of your laughing
Are those little white flowers divine evocations

Don’t you wonder where forever goes
When the tearful truth is told
Searching for another explanation

The shirt that I’m wearing’s the one you said that you slept in
The weekends when I was away
Tattered and stained down the front and from my reflection
I’m barely able to button it straight

Don’t you wonder how the pea vine knows
To twist around the fence post when it grows
Searching for another sunny day

I'll post something about Brian Belknap a little later.

hi falcon,

thanks for this week's OPP. any day is a good day for a love-lost poem.

in Don’t You Wonder? Brian Belknap comandeers the sensuality and flourish usually associated with blooming love and turns them plainly sideways. i like how he employs these things, now blanched and unsensual, to the demise of romance:
cherries this season aren’t nearly as sweet
and
...where the color goes
When the blush is off the rose
and
They pulled up the jasmine, the night blooming jasmine
That perfumed our front porch flirtations

Belknap trips, though, on some easy-to-avoid cliches:
the lingering taste of December’s goodbye
and the TV commercial replication of a homey sort of intimacy in the wearing of his shirt:
the one you said that you slept in
The weekends when I was away

he redeems the shirt with this deadpan metaphor for being off-balance, out of sync:
I’m barely able to button it straight

but of Don’t You Wonder?'s several shortcomings, i think this is the shortest. reading this piece without this verse improves it a lot:
Don’t you wonder where forever goes
When the tearful truth is told
Searching for another explanation

unless this is a song lyric, i think the rhymes aren't so useful, and neither is the repetition of "don't you wonder.." but, googling this guy i only come up with a sort of cowboy songwriter/ movie maker. is this the same guy? it works better as a song lyric than as a poem.

but to my reading, happily, the poem ends on the strongest image:
Don’t you wonder how the pea vine knows
To twist around the fence post when it grows
Searching for another sunny day

twisting pea vines is just damned nice, ya know? and it returns to this poem a homey wistfulness that got lost in some of the unimpressive middle.

monica

(be careful falcon. you start regularly posting OPPs and next you know you're asked to bring a dish to pass, next we're wanting to meet at your house. after a while, we're riffling through your refrigerator. there's no end to it, really. you'll be like, "how the hell did i get myself in so deep?" just be careful is all.)

Poetry Slam at Falcon's tonight!!! BYOP (Bring your own poetry)

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unless this is a song lyric, i think the rhymes aren't so useful

I think that form can be a gate to insight, and that this gains more from the rhymes than it loses: the tearful truth section does digress into abstraction, (which slows the forward motion) but structurally it's in the right place; throughout, meaning is sought through a pursuit of aesthetic word-sound. The shirt thing is a songwriter's trick: lulling the listener with a borderline-cliche, then twisting it at the end, leaving the buttons mis-aligned. The pea-vine line shows real control, expressing the emotional "twist" with a few words.

"how the hell did i get myself in so deep?"

You guys are the addicts, I'm just reading poetry for the experience. No matter what Carol Muske-Dukes says, I can quit any time.

Hi falcon,

First of all, don't worry about having to ""pass a dish." I just sent around a large wedge of Swiss cheese and a bowl of crunchy munchies. Anyone who wants a cold one can make a quick dash into his or her own fridge for one. No need to drink yours.

We've had several discussions in the past about whether or not song lyrics are or are not poetry. The general consensus has been no, although I'd like to hear your reasons for why you think they are. For me, one problem is that the formal constraints of stanzas and a refrain limit the writer's choices. Also, the nature of a song means the writer can't use language that is too compressed -- yet compression is one of the hallmarks of poetry. Finally, as is true of ye olde poetry, it's impossible to do interesting line breaks with song lyrics. And one of the most important things anyone ever taught me on the PoemsFray is the poetry consists of the tension between the poem's sentences (which might go on for several lines) and the poem's line breaks (which break up those sentences in ways that often alter the meaning of the sentence or create uncertainty before the next line resolves it).

I agree with others that the refrain that begins, "Don't you wonder..." is abstract and not as effective as the others. You said it was placed in the right spot (the middle), but didn't explain why. So I'm still interested to find out why you think that.

I think this song/poem contains lots of evocative sensory images and figurative language, two aspects of poetry. I would have preferred that it were reduced to these lines --

The cherries this season aren’t nearly as sweet
As the ones from our first July
Maybe the reasons the rain, or the wrong kind of heat
Or the lingering taste of December’s goodbye

Don’t you wonder where the color goes
When the blush is off the rose
Searching for another starry eye

They pulled up the jasmine, the night blooming jasmine
That perfumed our front porch flirtations
Gone with the passion, and the sound of your laughing
Are those little white flowers divine evocations

Don’t you wonder how the pea vine knows
To twist around the fence post when it grows
Searching for another sunny day

Of course you're speaking for yourself MaryAnn..

Not 'everyone at {PoemFray believes:

"We've had several discussions in the past about whether or not song lyrics are or are not poetry. The general consensus has been no, although I'd like to hear your reasons for why you think they are. For me, one problem is that the formal constraints of stanzas and a refrain limit the writer's choices."

That by default, would include villanelles, sonnets, ballades, the ballad, canzones, all couplets,
terza rima, rhyme royal, etc..

Your logic in dismissing ' lyrics' as poetry is specious at best. It reflects your judgment about poetry, and this is quite different from what the vast body of poetry is comprised of. Shakespeare has written many 'lyrics' and I doubt that they would be dismissed as not being poetry. The current 'fashion' a la the MFA factories do find it easier to purvay 'free' verse as the way to go..This opens a much wider door as in the lyrics for "Anything Goes."
A

falcon..

Thanks for posting this lyric/poem. Belknap is refreshingly musical as in, he has an ear..that I believe is part of the definition of 'poet.' He varies his rhymes so that they do not ring out in a mechanical way, but I think that in his choice of questioning..that is the crux, M.O. of the poem,

"Don't you wonder?...."Don’t you wonder where forever goes"

it is a bit trite. That kind of lead question has been done to death in lyrics..and 'poetry.' Here is a better example:

Where Have All The Flowers Gone
Pete Seger

Where have all the flowers gone
A long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone
A long ago
Where have all the flowers gone
Girl, theyre picked up, every one
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn

Where have all the soldiers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone
A long ago
Where have all the soldiers gone
Theyve gone to graveyards every one
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn

When will they learn, ever learn
When will they learn
When will they learn, ever learn
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn

If you dont know what were talkin about
When we say this
Theres too many starvin children
If ya dont know what were killing each other
And we just aint got time for ya brother
No no hey hey ...

Good lyrics/poems/writing is about choices..The brain matter has to be involoved so that 'cliches,'
in idea and rhyme are avoided. Belknap appears to have a gift for form; now, I think he has to work on the content.
A

.

Falcon, thanks for the Belknap.

And

Yes I do.

(when I went to his page I saw that his friend Neal Young was ‘online now’.

Can I email Mr. Young and ask him if he would please, pretty please ,

write a good goddamn song ?

You know, just for old times sake…………lol)

I like Don’t You Wonder?

That question has been in the mind of every thinker , writer, scientist, lover, and

Decent person, for thousands of years.

And everybody else too , whose not one of those !……lol

It very often predicts and defines progress. Or just life.

It’s a sweet question for the answers that are found sweeter sometimes.

It’s a formulae that goes from simple to profound-

And in the words of Frank Zappa

Play your harmonica son………lol

.

Actually, no, Artemesia, I wasn't speaking only for myself at first. I remember more than one discussion of the matter over the years. Not everyone agreed that song lyrics weren't poetry, but the "general consensus" did.

And yes, the following sentences, which begin, "For me," are my reasons alone. That's why I began the sentence the way I did.

For me, one problem is that the formal constraints of stanzas and a refrain limit the writer's choices."

That by default, would include villanelles, sonnets, ballades, the ballad, canzones, all couplets,
terza rima, rhyme royal, etc..

Actually, no, Artemesia. Since I mentioned refrains, it would, by default, include ballads. And that's why I continued on with more reasons. Each reason by itself eliminates some parts of poetry, but all 3 reasons do, I think, eliminate a lot of poetry.

However, even if there were a general consensus on the PoemsFray, that by not means ends the discussion definitively. Which I why I asked falcon to express his views on the matter. Perhaps he can sway me to change my mind. My opinion in this matter is not as strong as it is in other aspects of poetry.

What do you think? Are all song lyrics poems? Some? If so, where do we draw the line? I'm interested in what you have to say, as well as others.

Your logic in dismissing ' lyrics' as poetry ... reflects your judgment about poetry, and this is quite different from what the vast body of poetry is comprised of....The current 'fashion' a la the MFA factories do find it easier to purvay 'free' verse as the way to go.

It appears that you think I like only free verse poetry. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yeats, Donne, Shakespeare's sonnets, Keats, Frost, Milton, Wilbur, Hopkins -- all these formal poets are among my favorites.

Having never gone through a MFA program, I wouldn't know what their current fashion is, but I do know that free verse has been around in this country since the time of Walt Whitman. So if I talk a lot about free verse poetry, it's because so much of 20th century poetry is free verse, especially what Pinsky presents us on Tuesdays.

My only judgment about a poem is whether or not it's good on its own terms.

My first comments in my post were about song lyrics as poetry because others had brought up the topic, and I was continuing the discussion, as well as trying to elicit more. But I'm pretty sure that when I later discussed falcon's OPP, I applied poetic standards to it.

MA

MaryAnn, your edition sets the scene well but removes the story and I think finally is weaker. By the right spot I mean the end of Act II, and I'm sure all the cowpokes down at the corral would agree that's a mighty fine spot for a little ol' dark night of the soul, mighty fine.

This lyric appeals to me for a couple of reasons. Poetry and song lyrics are by no means interchangeable. Yeats' Down in the Sally Garden isn't a great song lyric, while Down in the Willow Garden, the folk song on which it's based, is one of the greatest. (No bodies get dumped in the river in Yeats' version. That's a problem right there.) A musical setting by Phil Ochs of The Lake Isle of Innisfree was popular (and I'd say successful) once upon a time. Leading me to ask: Is this person singing?

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Purt' near, podner.

Both Sullivan and Vaughn Williams tried their hand at setting Herbert's Sweet Day, though Sir Arthur mucked about with the lyric, the Victorian bounder.

Then there's the matter of the gent the Scots call Oor Bard, and you can duke it out with Oxford U. if you care to, I'll say his works stand as songs and poems.

This is like my head: there's a point here somewhere....

In song writing it's legit to paraphrase a couple of lines out of a Russian novel, get Joe Hickerson to write a couple of verses, and call it a new song. I'm not joking - it is legit. It does point out a difference between the forms.

It's legit in poems/poetry also. I have written the word 'After' in the epigraph of a few poems of mine. But trite is another matter. One has to choose HOW one is going to paraphrase so that the work or writer referred to isn't the one echoing in one's head while and after reading the work. A lyric or poem shouldn't feel counterfeit..or read as imitation. Inspired by..is another matter. That becomes an homage.
A

.

Falcon, here’s a love song (or poem) that I wrote for a woman who

means more to me than anyone I’ve ever known.

It’s meant to be sung very slow and deliciously

like Billie Holiday would. Or Diana Krall perhaps ….lol

It’s a love sad song……

SUMMER SONG MAYA

I CAN GO FROM A TO Z

LIKE

LIGHTNING TO THE GROUND.

MAKE A DECISION TO BE

QUITE

SIMPLE OR PROFOUND

WHY MY LOVING SO FAR GOES

IS

ANYBODYS GUESS

I DON’T NEED A REASON TO

BE

ON WITH HAPPINESS

WELL IN THE EARLY MORNING HOUR

I

FALL INTO HER ARMS

FOR ALL MY REASONING IS SHE’S

A

LOCKET OR A CHARM

WHEN ALL MY LUCK I EVER HAD

TURNS

INTO HER SMILE

AND I BECOME I CANT BELIEVE MAN

DIZZY

ON THE WHILE

GOT A GIRL SHE GOT ME GOOD

I

NEVER WANT THE END

IN HER MY HEART CAN REALLY BE

FOREVER

ON THE MEND

OH I CAN GO FROM A TO Z

LIKE

LIGHTNING TO THE GROUND

ONCE I WROTE AN ANGRY POEM

THAT

WOULD’NT MAKE A SOUND

WELL I CAN GO FROM A TO Z

LIKE

LIGHTNING TO THE GROUND

AND IN THE END MY GRATITUDE

JUST

MAKES A FUNNY SOUND

AND NOW MY SILLY OH LOVE SONG

GONNA

THANK HER……….

AND OH MY SILLY OH LOVE SONG

GONNA

THANK HER……..

AND SO MY SILLY OH LOVE SONG

SAYS …….

GOOD------BYE………..

© j.l. stix

This is a worthwhile point.

Night and day, you are the one
Only you beneath the moon and under the sun

is trite. Somehow Ella Fitzgerald makes me forget that. In regard to poetry today, I'd paraphrase Pete: where has all the lyricism gone?