I'm just doing this to get started.
The right-wingers will likely have 8 years to refine them and to perfect the tone of your whining.
1. Barack Obama did not defeat John McCain. The "liberal" media defeated John McCain.
(My favorite - here is the unifying, all-encompassing right-wing excuse for everything)
2. The sole reason for an Obama win is the economic crisis
(as if the economic situtation is just some random event with no relationship to the policies of the administration, policies McCain supported).
3. It's George W. Bush's fault.
(Obviously not all right wingers are on that bandwagon, but It's funny to see Republicans now trotting out that one).
4. Palin was a mistake.
(Right wingers are obvious split on this point - but once the election is over many more will admit that Palin is a disaster or as, Conservative commentator David Brooks observed "a fatal cancer" to the Republican party.)
5. It's Bill Clinton's fault.
(Old habits die hard)
Any others? :)
A note to right wingers: Please try not to stew and rot in your sea of delusion and denial for too long. We need for your party to recover and to return to some semblance of coherence and competence. One party rule is not healthy for our nation.