Sad Jack White Is the New Sad Kanye Is the New Sad Keanu
Arizona Beverages Is Now Making “Oak Brewed Tea,” for Some Reason
Have you ever sipped an oak-aged chardonnay and thought, “This oaky flavor would be so much better in a glass of iced tea?”
No? Well, just in case you ever do, Arizona Beverages has you covered. The maker of Skinnygirl Sparklers and Organic Yumberry Green Tea has released an iced tea as inexplicable as the capital Z in its name: “AriZona Oak Reserve,” an iced tea “brewed with American Oak Chips.” What will this oak-brewed tea taste like? Arizona promises that “connoisseurs” will take to its “sophisticated tea notes and smooth oaky finish.” Thank goodness—I hate drinking tea with unsophisticated tea notes or, worse, no tea notes at all.
No word yet on how connoisseurs feel about drinking iced tea out of a plastic bottle designed to look like an oak barrel with the word “OAK” printed on it in all caps twice.
Here’s “Let It Go” Sung Entirely by ’80s TV Characters
A Funky Ode to New York City Women by Sbtrkt, Featuring Ezra Koenig
Three years ago, Aaron Jerome released a wonderful sonic collage under the name Sbtrkt (he styles it SBTRKT, and pronounces it “subtract”). It was one of the best albums of 2011; Slate’s music critic Carl Wilson named the album’s Little Dragon collaboration, “Wildfire,” one of the best songs of that year. Since then, Jerome, who wears masks when he performs and shuns personal publicity, has shared some new material—an instrumental EP, Drake remixes, and one-off tracks with Sampha—but nothing that suggested a follow-up album was imminent. Until today, when Sbtrkt announced a sophomore album, Wonder Where We Land, with a brilliant first single featuring Vampire Weekend’s Ezra Koenig.
Dear White People Will Definitely Get Conversations Started
“Racism is over in America. The only people who are thinking about it are Mexicans, probably.” So says the (white) president of the fictional Winchester University in the new trailer for Dear White People, writer-director Justin Simien’s debut film. It’s the kind of flagrantly off-base sentiment that inspired the movie, which evolved from a concept trailer based on Simien’s experiences at a predominantly white university to a Twitter account and eventually to a feature-length film that got raves at Sundance.
Germans Love Getting Naked at the Beach. So Should We.
Ah, Germans. Our efficient, humorless Teutonic friends have bested us (and the rest of the world) at soccer, and their domination of the grocery-store commercial oeuvre remains undisputed. They are better than us at cars, public transport, and bicycle commuting; at wearing tiny glasses, and at yelling at people when they break the rules. They are also better at not being big uptight prudes at the beach, where, a recent Telegraph survey revealed, when they are not showing off fluorescent Speedos or the bottom halves of tiny bikinis, Germans are the most likely people in the world to bathe in their Geburtstag-suits.
Nude bathing has a special German name, of course: FKK, which stands for Freikörperkultur, or “free body culture,” and despite what you’ve seen in Eurotrip, it’s less about sex or exhibitionism and more about convenience and freedom.
The New Yorker Stories You Should Read Before the Paywall Goes Up
Yesterday, The New Yorker made all of its magazine pieces since 2007 freely available online for three months. After that time, everything will go behind a metered paywall, along the lines of what the New York Times has in place. So what should you read during this three-month free-for-all? We canvassed Slate staff for their favorite New Yorkerarticles, essays, profiles, and fiction from 2007 to the present. Our annotated list of 30 stories, divided semi-arbitrarily into seven categories, is below.
Spoon’s New Single Is Gorgeous
We’ve already heard a couple tracks from Spoon’s forthcoming album, They Want My Soul, the rocking, “Jumpin’ Jack Flash”-esque “The Rent I Pay” and the breezy “Do You.” Now, fresh off releasing the video for “Do You,” they’re back with a new single.
If “Do You” centers around a question of romance versus religion (“Do you want one thing or are you looking for sainthood?” the chorus asks), “Inside Out” finds Britt Daniel giving his answer. Over airy synths and twinkling harps, Daniel sings, “I don’t make time for holy rollers/ There’s only you I need/ They do not make me complete.”
Agent Scully’s Love of Science Set to Music
Kids Say the Darndest Things: A Supercut of Children Cursing in Movies
There’s not much to say here, except to laud Avaryl Halley’s important work: a supercut of kids cursing in movies. The video kicks off with Ralphie from A Christmas Story, then gives us a nice compilation of innocent, adorable children at their most foul-mouthed and profane. Included are classic moments of obscenity from The Sandlot, Little Miss Sunshine, and, of course, South Park.