The XX Factor

Samantha Bee Schools Donald Trump on the Finer Points of Abortion Policy

“There’s Denny Hastert, who is appalled by the idea of destroying a living thing he might already be attracted to.”

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Samantha Bee didn’t have to do much to make Donald Trump sound like a cruel ignoramus on Monday’s episode of Full Frontal. His remarks on abortion at last week’s presidential debate were so clueless and primitive, he all but wrote the jokes himself.

To recap, this is how Trump characterized late-term abortions, which are performed in the most difficult cases of maternal health complications or severe fetal abnormalities: “In the ninth month, you can take the baby and rip the baby out of the womb of the mother just prior to the birth of the baby.”

This sounds more like a bear attack than an abortion, Bee observed. And taking a baby from a woman’s womb on the “final day” of gestation, as Trump described, is considered labor and delivery.

Bee also held Fox News anchor and debate moderator Chris Wallace to task for parroting a bit of anti-choice propaganda: the term “partial-birth abortion,” which was invented by the National Right to Life Committee in 1995 to describe a very rarely-used abortion procedure that was banned in 2003. “Partial-birth abortions aren’t a thing,” Bee yelled through a megaphone.

Late-term abortions are a thing, though—and as Clinton said at last week’s debate, they’re often the best outcome of extraordinarily difficult and painful decisions that women make with their doctors and families. “Only 1.3 percent of abortions take place at or after 21 weeks,” Bee said in Monday night’s segment. “And guess what?! It’s not because women are selfish sluts who wake up in their third trimester and decide, ‘Not into this! I want a procrast-abortion.”

Praising Clinton for her passionate defense of women’s reproductive autonomy from male lawmakers who’d like to be involved in those decisions, Bee noted that Clinton was able to do what no Republican candidate or party official could manage: “beat this dick-waving Berlusconi knockoff like a little bitch.” And it’s perfectly legal for her to rip him from the womb-like safety of his own deluded presidential campaign right up until Election Day.