Perhaps you were sitting around today thinking that what this election needs is more cocks. You are in luck! Although, in fact, what this election got at 4:42 p.m. EDT was the specter of cocks unseen. BuzzFeed chief executive Jonah Peretti tweeted from an airport in Burbank, Calif. that Ivanka Trump’s reaction to her father’s infamous Access Hollywood recording (she called the GOP nominee’s pussy-grabbing remarks “a bit jarring”) gave him, Peretti, pause.
“Surprised Ivanka would be shocked by lewd language,” Peretti wrote. “I met her once & she casually said: ‘I’ve never seen a mulatto cock, but I’d like to.’ ”
On the phone to a BuzzFeed reporter, Peretti elaborated: “She was saying how she first said she had never seen an uncircumcised cock and then she said, ‘I’ve never seen a mulatto cock. There’s lots of cocks I’ve never seen,’ or something like that.”
From this we learn that there are vast constituencies of American cock to which Ivanka has turned a blind eye. At least she would “like to” expand her knowledge base, though it’s unclear whether she wishes to do so in the spirit of genuine discovery or cultural fetishization. The next question is which D.C. bars will immediately start offering “Ivanka’s Tragic Missing Mulatto Cocktail” (ingredients: pale ale, stout, tears) in advance of the third debate tonight. I think I could use one.
Update, 6:34 p.m.: In a statement to Jezebel, Ivanka Trump denied Peretti’s account, calling his statement “a complete and total lie.”
