Ben Carson graced CNN with his presence Tuesday afternoon to try to defend Donald Trump from accusations of misogyny and sexual-assault apologism for what amounted to, in Carson and Trump’s parlance, “locker-room talk.”
When Donald Trump bragged about how he could “grab [women] by the pussy” 11 years ago, Carson said, he was “a billionaire playboy” without the “gravitas” attributed to him now that he’s running for president. As a candidate travels the country listening to hardworking Americans’ concerns, Carson said, “you begin to understand these things that you weren’t even concerned about before.” So, Carson tells us, Trump used to not be too concerned about grabbing women’s genitals, but as he’s traveled this great nation listening to women (talking about genitals? unemployment? taxes?), he has begun to understand that talking about grabbing genitals is wrong.
But is it? Carson doesn’t seem to think so. “I’ve been in lots of places, you know, growing up and listening to people tell their great tales of sexual conquests. You know, it’s an immature thing to do,” he told CNN’s Brianna Keilar. (Trump, for the record, was not “growing up” when he boasted to Billy Bush that he doesn’t wait for a woman’s consent before kissing her. He was 59.) “Where are you hanging out that you hear people talking like that?” asked Keilar.
“As I was growing up, people were always trying to talk about their sexual conquests, and trying to make themselves appear, you know, like the, Don—you know, Casanova,” Carson said. “I’m surprised you haven’t heard that. I really am.”
“I haven’t heard it, and I know a lot of people who have not heard it,” Keilar replied.
“Well, maybe that’s the problem,” Carson said. “The problem is that people haven’t heard this.”
He’s got it! Ben Carson has fixed feminism! The problem with men endorsing sexual assault is that women don’t listen to them when they endorse sexual assault. If more women heard men bragging about grabbing unsuspecting women by their genitals, maybe they’d—uh, understand men’s needs? Grow jaded to the machinations of rape culture? Accept their fates as things to be touched, kissed, “moved in on,” and grabbed? Be less surprised when aging, overentitled sacks of filth yanked at their vulvas? (Wouldn’t that spoil the fun?)
Having solved the woman problem, Carson proposed another idea to help America: Get over this Trump-misogyny stuff. “Call it whatever you need to call it to make it feel good to you,” he said, and move on. One silly instance of boasting about sexual assault is distracting from the real issue at hand, Carson said, which is the “train that’s going off the cliff.” A conversation about “morality” would be nice, but “we can come back after we save the country.”
