Casting the Hypothetical Monica Lewinsky TV Movie the World So Desperately Needs

Now that Ryan Murphy’s The People v. O.J. Simpson miniseries has redeemed Marcia Clark and HBO’s Confirmation has celebrated Anita Hill, the time is ripe for a TV series or movie that restores the reputation of another heroine whose name was sullied by the horrendous gender politics of the 1990s: Monica Lewinsky. On Friday, the Guardian published a revealing interview with Lewinsky on the subject of shame. “I felt like every layer of my skin and my identity were ripped off of me in ’98 and ’99,” Lewinsky told journalist Jon Ronson. She was just 22 when she blurted out to the president, “I have a crush on you,” and he replied, “Well, do you want to come into the back office?”

With the benefit of hindsight, it’s clear that President Clinton’s behavior was wildly inappropriate and the imbalance of power between the two was vast. But at the time, Lewinsky shouldered an outsize portion of the blame and shame surrounding the scandal. Jay Leno mocked her on The Tonight Show, prominent feminists rudely dismissed her, and Clinton himself disavowed her. It’s hard to imagine the culture reacting so cruelly today, which is why a dramatic rehashing of the Monica story—with Monica as the hero rather than the “ditsy, predatory White House intern”—would probably find a sympathetic audience. Though a satirical web series took up the Monica scandal last fall and a 2010 movie dealt tangentially with this period in the Clinton presidency, we think the time is now for the story to get the full prestige treatment. Producers, we’ve taken the liberty of kicking off the casting process below.

Monica

For the starring role, someone young and not super-well-known is ideal, to emphasize just how inexperienced Lewinsky really was at the time. An Anne Hathaway or a Neve Campbell might be perfect hair-wise, but they’ve aged out of the part. Bel Powley, the twentysomething star of 2015’s The Diary of a Teenage Girl, has the right combination of innocence and soul to make you understand where she’s coming from. We’d also be happy to see Sarah Steele, who’s had parts on The Good Wife and in the Nicole Holofcener movie Please Give, in the role. Eileen O’Higgins, who played a friend of the main character in Brooklyn, or Kacey Rohl from The Magicians could also be good. And dare we say it, Hailee Steinfeld will turn 20 this year.

Bill Clinton

Clinton was 52 in 1998, the year the scandal broke, putting him within five years of Matthew McConaughey, who will turn 47 later this year (believe it or not). With his Southern charm that can easily edge into sleaze, McConaughey would excel in this role, which would also give him a chance to earn some serious-actor cred by going gray. Post-McConaissance, though, he might be reluctant to accept the part, in which case we can turn to his True Detective co-star, Woody Harrelson.

Hillary Clinton

This could be a great vehicle for any number of blond thirty- or fortysomething actresses, which Hollywood has no shortage of. Reese Witherspoon could bring the full weight of her Tracy Flick powers to the role, or maybe it should go to Renée Zellweger, who like Hillary has experienced both the adulation and derision that goes along with being in the public eye. Kate McKinnon could also test the dramatic potential of her Saturday Night Live impression.

Linda Tripp

There’s not much physical resemblance, but character actress par excellence Margo Martindale would sink her teeth into this villainous part of the “friend” who betrayed Monica by recording their phone conversations.

Kenneth Starr

Though Slate editor Dan Kois played this part to perfection for his 1999 Halloween costume, we need to keep him on hand to edit our culture section, so the part of the special prosecutor who investigated the scandal and author of The Starr Report goes to Paul Giamatti.

Vernon Jordan

Now that Andre Braugher has shown the world he can do comedy via his part in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, we’d like to see him go back to his dramatic roots by playing Jordan, a friend and adviser of Clinton’s who tried to find a job for Lewinsky.

William Ginsburg

Ginsburg acted as Lewinsky’s lawyer for part of the scandal. Based on his beard and society’s collective interest in finding more roles for Mandy Patinkin, we cast Mandy Patinkin.

Henry Hyde

Hyde was the Republican chairman of the House Judiciary Committee at the time of the scandal. His severe white hair and glasses would be good fodder for John Travolta, who camped it up under heavy makeup to play O.J. Simpson’s lawyer Robert Shapiro in American Crime Story and now must appear in every ripped-from-the-headlines melodrama until the end of time.

The Dress

We’re talking about Monica’s infamous blue dress, which will have to be played by The Dress, its viral successor.