Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop to Invade Physical World With Pop-Up Shop

What Women Really Think
May 2 2014 2:51 PM

Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop to Invade Physical World With Pop-Up Shop

Gwyneth Paltrow is bringing Goop to Los Angeles.

Photo by BEN STANSALL/AFP/Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow is launching a Goop pop-up shop in Brentwood, California, or as Paltrow puts it, a #gooppop. If you have somehow come this far with little exposure to Gwyneth Paltrow's upstart online lifestyle brand, congratulations. You are truly #blessed. A brief primer to prep you for Goop's invasion of the physical world:

Why is it called a #gooppop? It's a store, right? Rising above normal human language is the ultimate mark of luxury.


What treasures await us there? If Goop’s online offerings are any indication, shoppers will finally come face to face with a $1,200 exclusive malachite andu (a box), a $156 amethyst tigela (a bowl), a $175 fez stripe pale indigo cushion (a pillow), a $495 pair of garda cut from magenta pony hair and beige leather (I don’t know—they look like Vans), a $565 double wrap faceted pyrite bracelet with diamond ohm charm (beads on a string), a $185 le cut off short (cut-off shorts), and a $2,595 exclusive cashmere cape (a Snuggie).

Why? Now that even America’s poor can afford to purchase televisions and clothe themselves, the rich must work harder to demonstrate their wealth, infusing amethysts into their cereal bowls, protecting their keepsakes inside even more expensive keepsakes, and applying code-names to their slip-ons. (“I like your shoes.” “That's no shoe—it’s garda.”) But displaying all of these riches online—where anyone with public library access can feast on them with their eyes—is a shade déclassé. Better to nestle these wares between a pressed juicery and something called "Calypso St. Barth," where only the truly prosperous are likely to happen upon them. 

What's the upside? If we're lucky, when the Earth is but a smoldering husk of a planet, and all e-newsletters have been lost to time, a more advanced people may excavate our #gooppop, and they will know where we erred.

Amanda Hess is a Slate staff writer. 


Medical Examiner

The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola 

The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.

I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.

Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.

Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore

And schools are getting worried.

Two Damn Good, Very Different Movies About Soldiers Returning From War

The XX Factor

Lifetime Didn’t Think the Steubenville Rape Case Was Dramatic Enough

So they added a little self-immolation.


Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem

Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology. 

Why a Sketch of Chelsea Manning Is Stirring Up Controversy

How Worried Should Poland, the Baltic States, and Georgia Be About a Russian Invasion?

Trending News Channel
Sept. 19 2014 1:11 PM Watch Flashes of Lightning Created in a Lab  
  News & Politics
Sept. 20 2014 11:13 AM -30-
Business Insider
Sept. 20 2014 6:30 AM The Man Making Bill Gates Richer
Sept. 20 2014 7:27 AM How Do Plants Grow Aboard the International Space Station?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 19 2014 4:58 PM Steubenville Gets the Lifetime Treatment (And a Cheerleader Erupts Into Flames)
  Slate Plus
Slate Picks
Sept. 19 2014 12:00 PM What Happened at Slate This Week? The Slatest editor tells us to read well-informed skepticism, media criticism, and more.
Brow Beat
Sept. 20 2014 3:21 PM “The More You Know (About Black People)” Uses Very Funny PSAs to Condemn Black Stereotypes
Future Tense
Sept. 19 2014 6:31 PM The One Big Problem With the Enormous New iPhone
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 21 2014 8:00 AM An Astronaut’s Guided Video Tour of Earth
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.