Is Unconditional Love the Enemy of Lust? Yes, So I Choose Lust.

What Women Really Think
June 28 2013 4:39 PM

Is Unconditional Love the Enemy of Lust? Yes, So I Choose Lust.

Earlier this week, we asked readers to write in telling us if they think unconditional love actually kills desire. Many responded. We've been publishing some of those responses Friday. This is the last one.

From: Brenda

Advertisement

I am a 42-year-old female. I started sexual activity and exploration at a very early age, probably younger than most. As I have grown into a woman and have had everything from longer relationships to one-night stands, I have come to terms with what I want sexually. The whole "being in love" thing just never felt right, and it never got the job done, either.

I know that women are supposed to want unconditional love and commitment, monogamy from their partner, and the white picket fence, but if this were the case, why is it that so many romance novels are about the women being taken by the handsome stranger?

I do have an animal desire. I think women settle for what they think they want, but then at some point the balloon of expectation gets deflated when they realize they have lost their desire. I have always entered my relationships and encounters with the expectation of no expectation. What thrills me is the moment. I see him or he sees me, and he actually has the guts or tenacity to break through my icy veneer. Lust, passion, and pleasure are what I want. Unconditional love I already have from my child, grandmother, and my family.

Previously in this series:

TODAY IN SLATE

Foreigners

The World’s Politest Protesters

The Occupy Central demonstrators are courteous. That’s actually what makes them so dangerous.

The Religious Right Is Not Happy With Republicans  

The XX Factor
Oct. 1 2014 4:58 PM The Religious Right Is Not Happy With Republicans  

The Feds Have Declared War on Encryption—and the New Privacy Measures From Apple and Google

The One Fact About Ebola That Should Calm You

It spreads slowly.

These “Dark” Lego Masterpieces Are Delightful and Evocative

Crime

Operation Backbone

How White Boy Rick, a legendary Detroit cocaine dealer, helped the FBI uncover brazen police corruption.

Politics

Talking White

Black people’s disdain for “proper English” and academic achievement is a myth.

Activists Are Trying to Save an Iranian Woman Sentenced to Death for Killing Her Alleged Rapist

Piper Kerman on Why She Dressed Like a Hitchcock Heroine for Her Prison Sentencing

  News & Politics
Politics
Oct. 1 2014 7:26 PM Talking White Black people’s disdain for “proper English” and academic achievement is a myth.
  Business
Moneybox
Oct. 1 2014 2:16 PM Wall Street Tackles Chat Services, Shies Away From Diversity Issues 
  Life
Outward
Oct. 1 2014 6:02 PM Facebook Relaxes Its “Real Name” Policy; Drag Queens Celebrate
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 1 2014 5:11 PM Celebrity Feminist Identification Has Reached Peak Meaninglessness
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Oct. 1 2014 3:24 PM Revelry (and Business) at Mohonk Photos and highlights from Slate’s annual retreat.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Oct. 1 2014 9:39 PM Tom Cruise Dies Over and Over Again in This Edge of Tomorrow Supercut
  Technology
Future Tense
Oct. 1 2014 6:59 PM EU’s Next Digital Commissioner Thinks Keeping Nude Celeb Photos in the Cloud Is “Stupid”
  Health & Science
Science
Oct. 1 2014 4:03 PM Does the Earth Really Have a “Hum”? Yes, but probably not the one you’re thinking.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Oct. 1 2014 5:19 PM Bunt-a-Palooza! How bad was the Kansas City Royals’ bunt-all-the-time strategy in the American League wild-card game?