Are Women Turned on by Pictures of Naked Men? I'm Not!

What Women Really Think
June 21 2013 9:30 AM

Are Women Turned on by Pictures of Naked Men? I'm Not!

Earlier this week we asked female readers to write in telling us whether and how visual turn-ons (or turn-offs) impact their sex lives. Many responded. We published some of those responses yesterday and have a few more today.

From: Rebecca

Advertisement

I can only speak for myself. I believe sexuality is far more individualized than these "men vs. women" studies allow for. That being said, I do not find visual stimuli to be in any way arousing. I'm specifically turned off by the sight of other people having sex, and the mere sight of a naked, attractive man—even my partner, for whom I do have a strong sexual appetite—has never gotten me in the mood. It isn't that I don't appreciate physical beauty in men; I do, very much. I liken the sight of an attractive man more to seeing a beautiful sunset or a gorgeous horse, or a lovely flower, or anything else that people love looking at without having a sexual response. A man's genitals, on the other hand, aren't particularly attractive to me regardless of how nice the rest of him is. I'm sorry, but they just aren't! To me, genitals serve a useful function, but they are not aesthetically pleasing.

This makes me sound frigid, doesn't it? I'm not at all. As I said earlier, my partner and I have a lively and fulfilling sexual life. It's just that I'm aroused by things like certain kinds of touch, and the way he treats me, and the things he says to me. He knows that about me, just as I know that he can be turned on by the sight of my body. He also knows that my lack of response to his mere nakedness isn't a measure of how attractive or unattractive he is to me, but that, for whatever reason, physical beauty and sexual interest aren't tied together in my brain. If a man is attractive, then I want to look at him (from the waist up!). If a man loves me, treats me well, and touches me the right way, then I want to have sex with him.

Previously in this series:

TODAY IN SLATE

Politics

Talking White

Black people’s disdain for “proper English” and academic achievement is a myth.

Hong Kong’s Protesters Are Ridiculously Polite. That’s What Scares Beijing So Much.

The One Fact About Ebola That Should Calm You: It Spreads Slowly

Operation Backbone

How White Boy Rick, a legendary Detroit cocaine dealer, helped the FBI uncover brazen police corruption.

A Jaw-Dropping Political Ad Aimed at Young Women, Apparently

The XX Factor
Oct. 1 2014 4:05 PM Today in GOP Outreach to Women: You Broads Like Wedding Dresses, Right?
Music

How Even an Old Hipster Can Age Gracefully

On their new albums, Leonard Cohen, Robert Plant, and Loudon Wainwright III show three ways.

How Tattoo Parlors Became the Barber Shops of Hipster Neighborhoods

This Gargantuan Wind Farm in Wyoming Would Be the Hoover Dam of the 21st Century

Moneybox
Oct. 1 2014 8:34 AM This Gargantuan Wind Farm in Wyoming Would Be the Hoover Dam of the 21st Century To undertake a massively ambitious energy project, you don’t need the government anymore.
  News & Politics
Politics
Oct. 1 2014 7:26 PM Talking White Black people’s disdain for “proper English” and academic achievement is a myth.
  Business
Buy a Small Business
Oct. 1 2014 11:48 PM Inking the Deal Why tattoo parlors are a great small-business bet.
  Life
Outward
Oct. 1 2014 6:02 PM Facebook Relaxes Its “Real Name” Policy; Drag Queens Celebrate
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 1 2014 5:11 PM Celebrity Feminist Identification Has Reached Peak Meaninglessness
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Oct. 1 2014 3:24 PM Revelry (and Business) at Mohonk Photos and highlights from Slate’s annual retreat.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Oct. 1 2014 9:39 PM Tom Cruise Dies Over and Over Again in This Edge of Tomorrow Supercut
  Technology
Future Tense
Oct. 1 2014 6:59 PM EU’s Next Digital Commissioner Thinks Keeping Nude Celeb Photos in the Cloud Is “Stupid”
  Health & Science
Science
Oct. 1 2014 4:03 PM Does the Earth Really Have a “Hum”? Yes, but probably not the one you’re thinking.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Oct. 1 2014 5:19 PM Bunt-a-Palooza! How bad was the Kansas City Royals’ bunt-all-the-time strategy in the American League wild-card game?