With ordinary advertisers jumping ship from Rush Limbaugh’s show in light of his charming suggestion that the use of sexual health services makes Sandra Fluke—and by association, nearly every American woman who isn’t a nun or a gold star lesbian (both of whom Limbaugh probably has other nasty names for)—a “slut” and a “prostitute” who owes it to Limbaugh to make him sex tapes, Limbaugh might be in the market for some new advertisers. While many businesses don’t want to be associated with a grade-A jerk like Limbaugh, some companies tacitly acknowledge that central defining characteristics of their customers is that they’re jerks. Companies like Ashley Madison, a website for adulterers and wannabe adulterers, and Seeking Arrangements, a website for men who hire younger “girlfriends” or at least like to imagine they could, have signaled that they want a piece of Limbaugh’s audience. While previous advertisers like AOL and Netflix appealed to jerks and non-jerks alike, these businesses have a douche-centered business model that really could benefit from reaching out directly to the angry misogynists that have kept Limbaugh’s coffers flowing with illegal Viagra and Cuban cigars.
In times like these, after all, sexist pigs have to overlook partisan differences and come together under the banner of disliking it when women get the stupid idea that they have any worth outside of submissive sexual ornaments. Which is why Bill Maher has bravely reached across the aisle to offer aid and comfort to his brother Limbaugh in the art of putting women in their place, insisting that liberals accept Limbaugh’s non-apology as if it were actually an apology. What, after all, are women good for if not gamely sucking up whatever spew at them, and then smiling sexily and asking if we can have some more? That’s the way it works in their favorite porn, and if Maher and Limbaugh know anything, it’s that porn is an accurate portrayal of how the world should work.
Which is why jerk-oriented businesses like Ashley Madison and Seeking Arrangements want a piece of the action. When they see the homing signal of the all-American narcissistic jackass, they know that they are in the prime hunting ground for separating a fool from his money with baseless promises of magical sexual encounters with women who know better than to open their mouths for expressing opinions, and who know better than to bore you with stupid lady nonsense like contraception. Now, all Limbaugh needs is some sleazy lawyers who specialize in helping men who want lots of sex without the bother of contraception with their inevitable paternity suits, and he’ll have a leaner, meaner, more targeted advertising strategy to reach his loyal audience.
