Defending Callista Gingrich's Hair

What Women Really Think
June 23 2011 4:31 PM

Defending Callista Gingrich's Hair

/blogs/xx_factor/2011/06/23/demanding_an_end_to_the_fascism_of_soft_waviness/jcr:content/body/slate_image

Look, I have no love for Newt and Callista Gingrich, whom I view mainly as a couple of con artists pulling a multimillion-dollar job on their supporters and on the shockingly naive cable media that keep taking him seriously for no good reason.  I laughed along with everyone else at the $1 million-plus line of credit at Tiffany's, and the way that Newt clearly was watching the clock during the Republican debate on CNN.  But I have one word for you people who just can't let a picture of Callista Gingrich go by without jumping all over the one redeeming quality of her entire being. A sampling from article comments on Slate and Politico :

Advertisement

I mean, how can she look in the mirror and not see how nasty/weird/frightening/artificial/horrendous that 'do of hers is?

She looks like something you see in low budget sci fi movies, like she's about to morph into some reptilian birdlike creature.

Callista, ease up on the hair spray girl. Your hair looks like a very blonde helmet.

Haters. Y'all are just jealous. You wish your hair could be so bad ass.

I'm on Team Callista with this one.  Screw those layered, curled, subtly highlighted 'dos that have been the rage these past few decades.  You know, hair that's meant to look soft and feminine and natural, so some slightly broken man can bury his face in it and feel the healing power of your quirky but affirming love.  I want hair you can cut cheese with.  I want hair that's an unnatural color that you can't look away from.  I wish I had Callista Gingrich's hair.  That there is rock star hair.  If you quadrupled her eyeliner and put her in a weird dress, people would be asking, "Why is Lady Gaga palling around with Newt Gingrich?"  That hair is so cool that someone as terminally uncool as Callista Gingrich can wear it and not even know that she's doing it.  Isn't achieving that some sort of hipster nirvana?

Photograph of Callista Gingrich by Mark Hirsch/Getty Images .

Amanda Marcotte is a Brooklyn-based writer and DoubleX contributor. She also writes regularly for the Daily Beast, AlterNet, and USA Today. Follow her on Twitter.

TODAY IN SLATE

Altered State

The Plight of the Pre-Legalization Marijuana Offender

What should happen to weed users and dealers busted before the stuff was legal?

The Extraordinary Amicus Brief That Attempts to Explain the Wu-Tang Clan to the Supreme Court Justices

Amazon Is Officially a Gadget Company. Here Are Its Six New Devices.

The Human Need to Find Connections in Everything

It’s the source of creativity and delusions. It can harm us more than it helps us.

How Much Should You Loathe NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell?

Here are the facts.

Food

How to Order Chinese Food

First, stop thinking of it as “Chinese food.”

How the First Benghazi Committee Hearing Humbled the Hillary Clinton State Department

You Shouldn’t Spank Anyone but Your Consensual Sex Partner

Moneybox
Sept. 17 2014 5:10 PM The Most Awkward Scenario in Which a Man Can Hold a Door for a Woman
  News & Politics
Jurisprudence
Sept. 18 2014 10:42 AM Scalia’s Liberal Streak The conservative justice’s most brilliant—and surprisingly progressive—moments on the bench.
  Business
Business Insider
Sept. 17 2014 1:36 PM Nate Silver Versus Princeton Professor: Who Has the Right Models?
  Life
Outward
Sept. 18 2014 11:25 AM Gays on TV: From National Freakout to Modern Family Fun
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 17 2014 6:14 PM Today in Gender Gaps: Biking
  Slate Plus
Slate Fare
Sept. 17 2014 9:37 AM Is Slate Too Liberal?  A members-only open thread.
  Arts
Television
Sept. 18 2014 8:53 AM The Other Huxtable Effect Thirty years ago, The Cosby Show gave us one of TV’s great feminists.
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 18 2014 10:07 AM “The Day It All Ended” A short story from Hieroglyph, a new science fiction anthology.
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 18 2014 7:30 AM Red and Green Ghosts Haunt the Stormy Night
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 17 2014 3:51 PM NFL Jerk Watch: Roger Goodell How much should you loathe the pro football commissioner?