Defending Callista Gingrich's Hair

The XX Factor
What Women Really Think
June 23 2011 4:31 PM

Defending Callista Gingrich's Hair

Amanda Marcotte Amanda Marcotte

Amanda Marcotte is a Brooklyn-based writer and DoubleX contributor. She also writes regularly for the Daily Beast, AlterNet, and USA Today

/blogs/xx_factor/2011/06/23/demanding_an_end_to_the_fascism_of_soft_waviness/jcr:content/body/slate_image

Look, I have no love for Newt and Callista Gingrich, whom I view mainly as a couple of con artists pulling a multimillion-dollar job on their supporters and on the shockingly naive cable media that keep taking him seriously for no good reason.  I laughed along with everyone else at the $1 million-plus line of credit at Tiffany's, and the way that Newt clearly was watching the clock during the Republican debate on CNN.  But I have one word for you people who just can't let a picture of Callista Gingrich go by without jumping all over the one redeeming quality of her entire being. A sampling from article comments on Slate and Politico :

Advertisement

I mean, how can she look in the mirror and not see how nasty/weird/frightening/artificial/horrendous that 'do of hers is?

She looks like something you see in low budget sci fi movies, like she's about to morph into some reptilian birdlike creature.

Callista, ease up on the hair spray girl. Your hair looks like a very blonde helmet.

Haters. Y'all are just jealous. You wish your hair could be so bad ass.

I'm on Team Callista with this one.  Screw those layered, curled, subtly highlighted 'dos that have been the rage these past few decades.  You know, hair that's meant to look soft and feminine and natural, so some slightly broken man can bury his face in it and feel the healing power of your quirky but affirming love.  I want hair you can cut cheese with.  I want hair that's an unnatural color that you can't look away from.  I wish I had Callista Gingrich's hair.  That there is rock star hair.  If you quadrupled her eyeliner and put her in a weird dress, people would be asking, "Why is Lady Gaga palling around with Newt Gingrich?"  That hair is so cool that someone as terminally uncool as Callista Gingrich can wear it and not even know that she's doing it.  Isn't achieving that some sort of hipster nirvana?

Photograph of Callista Gingrich by Mark Hirsch/Getty Images .

  Slate Plus
Slate Picks
Dec. 19 2014 4:15 PM What Happened at Slate This Week? Staff writer Lily Hay Newman shares what stories intrigued her at the magazine this week.