Tiny Testicles and Threats of Beheading at the Barry Bonds Trial

What Women Really Think
March 29 2011 11:06 AM

Tiny Testicles and Threats of Beheading at the Barry Bonds Trial

/blogs/xx_factor/2011/03/29/barry_bonds_trial_former_girlfriend_kimberly_bell_testifies/jcr:content/body/slate_image

By all accounts it was high drama in the San Francisco courtroom on Monday when Kimberly Bell, Barry Bonds' longtime ex-girlfriend, testified in his perjury case. To recap: Bonds is on trial for allegedly lying under oath about taking steroids in front of a grand jury. Bell was his girlfriend for nine years (BTW, he was married to two different women during that period of time) and she told the court yesterday that Bonds' steroid use had some unintended side effects. To wit: "The shape, size of his testicles were smaller. He had some trouble keeping an erection."

Advertisement

That alone would make for a sordid day in court, but far less amusing were Bell's allegations that the steroids made Bonds behave aggressively. Bell says he was increasingly agitated, and that he once threatened her with beheading. Hmmm, ego-bloated, drug-addled star threatening his significant other with beheading. Where have we heard that before? That's right, Charlie Sheen threatened estranged wife Brooke Mueller in the same way.

In fact, the way that Bonds' lawyers are trying to discredit Bell-according to the New York Times they're painting Bell as "a vindictive, attention-craving gold-digger who was upset about their breakup"-reminds me of the point that my old boss Anna Holmes made about Charlie Sheen's many mates in her Times op-ed " The Disposable Woman ": "A woman’s active embrace of the fame monster or participation in the sex industry, we seem to say, means that she compromises her right not to be assaulted, let alone humiliated, insulted or degraded; it’s part of the deal," Holmes wrote. By emphasizing Bell's posing for Playboy and her attempt to publish a book about her relationship with Bonds, Bonds' lawyers are branding Bell as a disposable woman of the same variety.

It's also worth noting (as the Daily News ' Nathaniel Vinton points out ) that all the government witnesses except for Bell had been cross-examined by a male lawyer of Bonds' named Allen Ruby. Only Bell was cross-examined by a woman-Cris Arguedas. Obviously Bonds' team thought a woman had a better chance of discrediting Bell's testimony. If one of your own is implying that you're a gold digger, then it must be true!

Photograph of Barry Bonds by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Jessica Grose is a frequent Slate contributor and the author of the novel Sad Desk Salad. Follow her on Twitter.

TODAY IN SLATE

Politics

Meet the New Bosses

How the Republicans would run the Senate.

The Government Is Giving Millions of Dollars in Electric-Car Subsidies to the Wrong Drivers

Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.

Photos of the Crowds That Took Over NYC for the People’s Climate March

Friends Was the Last Purely Pleasurable Sitcom

The Eye

This Whimsical Driverless Car Imagines Transportation in 2059

Medical Examiner

Did America Get Fat by Drinking Diet Soda?  

A high-profile study points the finger at artificial sweeteners.

The Afghan Town With a Legitimately Good Tourism Pitch

A Futurama Writer on How the Vietnam War Shaped the Series

  News & Politics
Photography
Sept. 21 2014 11:34 PM People’s Climate March in Photos Hundreds of thousands of marchers took to the streets of NYC in the largest climate rally in history.
  Business
Business Insider
Sept. 22 2014 9:39 AM Adrian Peterson Has a Terrible Contract, and Cutting Him Would Save the Vikings a Lot of Money
  Life
The Eye
Sept. 22 2014 9:12 AM What Is This Singaporean Road Sign Trying to Tell Us?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 19 2014 4:58 PM Steubenville Gets the Lifetime Treatment (And a Cheerleader Erupts Into Flames)
  Slate Plus
Science
Sept. 22 2014 8:08 AM Slate Voice: “Why Is So Much Honey Clover Honey?” Mike Vuolo shares the story of your honey.
  Arts
Television
Sept. 21 2014 9:00 PM Attractive People Being Funny While Doing Amusing and Sometimes Romantic Things Don’t dismiss it. Friends was a truly great show.
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 22 2014 7:47 AM Predicting the Future for the U.S. Government The strange but satisfying work of creating the National Intelligence Council’s Global Trends report.
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 22 2014 5:30 AM MAVEN Arrives at Mars
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.