The first show of the very last season of the iconic
Oprah Winfrey Show
premiered yesterday, and, living up to its reputation, it made
couch-jumping Tom Cruises
out of all of us. By now, you should know there is no Santa Claus; there is only Oprah, the goddess of daytime giveaways. In 2004, when she embarked on her 19
season, Winfrey doled out brand-
new Pontiac G-6’s to each guest at the premiere show’s taping
, famously yelling, "Everbody gets a car! Everybody gets a car! You get a CAR! YOU get a car!" Then, of course, there was the teacher appreciation episode in which
300 educators received $15,000 worth of Oprah’s "Favorite Things."
("You get a Sony notebook! YOU get a Sony notebook!")
This year, for the big premiere, audience members won a trip to Australia . But first Oprah had to tease the barely contained ladies in her studio, taking six whole minutes to make her winky way to the big reveal. Here’s the clip from Jezebel . By the end, everyone is basically hyperventilating or crying like an evangelist's church audience possessed by the spirit of Jesus. Really, the season can only go up from here.
TODAY IN SLATE
The Ebola Story
How our minds build narratives out of disaster.
The Budget Disaster That Completely Sabotaged the WHO’s Response to Ebola
PowerPoint Is the Worst, and Now It’s the Latest Way to Hack Into Your Computer
The Shooting Tragedies That Forged Canada’s Gun Politics
A Highly Unscientific Ranking of Crazy-Old German Beers
Welcome to 13th Grade!
Some high schools are offering a fifth year. That’s a great idea.
The Actual World
“Mount Thoreau” and the naming of things in the wilderness.