Babysitters and nannies often fall somewhere between employee and friend, which makes it harder to tell them that you'd like them to load the dishwasher after dinner (with or without rinsing the dishes, in the right way, and wipe the counters, please-and nonstick pans don't go in the machine). But those who don't ask often don't get. The NYT 's " How to Speak Nanny " piece is an excellent look at why parents still struggle with asking but has a title that makes what's a very common parenting issue look like a problem only for the elite, when my baby sitter -who has kids of her own-has trouble talking to her baby sitter. Great piece. Lousy title. But if you have kids and a sitter (or a nanny), worth a read.