Brutal Honesty in Relationships Is for the Birds

Brutal Honesty in Relationships Is for the Birds

Brutal Honesty in Relationships Is for the Birds

The XX Factor
What Women Really Think
Dec. 3 2009 6:23 PM

Brutal Honesty in Relationships Is for the Birds

Amanda, I don't think you can really make generalizations about all married people or the institution of companionate marriage from Elizabeth Weil's excellent piece . As commenter ockeghem wrote in response to your post , "It said nothing about anyone's marriage but Weil's." It was a singular account of one union, but one that confirmed a long-held belief of mine about relationships: Total honesty is for the birds. I don't always want to know what my fiance is thinking at every second, and he doesn't want to know everything I'm thinking, either. Weil and her husband re-hash a bunch of long-buried issues, and seem to find mostly pain, rather than revelation. This is not to say that we should keep Don Draperish secrets from our beloveds. I just never want to hear my future husband say about an ex-girlfriend, as Weil's husband said to her about a past lover, "We had this completely psychologically sadistic thing that was incredibly disturbing to me ... ."