Call for Submissions: Have You Had Marriage Counseling?

What Women Really Think
Dec. 3 2009 11:44 AM

Call for Submissions: Have You Had Marriage Counseling?

/blogs/xx_factor/2009/12/03/have_you_had_marriage_counseling/jcr:content/body/slate_image

As Hanna has already pointed out , this Sunday’s New York Times Magazine deals with the issue of marriage counseling (and marriage in general). The author, Elizabeth Weil, decided that although her marriage was fine, it could be better. She thought she and her husband should pay their marriage the same kind of attention they paid their careers, their kids, their health, and their friendships. "I decided to apply myself to my marriage," Weil writes, "to work at improving ours now, while it felt strong."

Advertisement

The way she did this, she tells us, was by working her way through the books and the assessment tests into the therapist’s office. Off the couple went to a "reed-thin psychoanalyst" who was given to pronouncements like, "On the first count, you find Dan unavailable because he’s not relating to you. He’s just using you as a sounding board. But on the other hand he feels he can’t reach you either. He wants you to accept his affection and praise, but those attentions make you feel smothered, and that makes him feel alone."

It’s hard to tell at the end of the piece what Weil and her husband gained from their efforts. It’s impossible to know what goes on inside anyone else’s marriage at any time or why two people choose to marry in the first place. Yet while her story isn’t as riveting as some of the better episodes of In Treatment or Tell Me You Love Me , it piqued my interest because I’d like to know how many of you have tried marriage or couples counseling in any form. Did you go-like Weil-to strengthen an already strong union? Or did a crisis force you to seek help? How did you agree on this course of action? What form did your sessions take? How much did they cost? And the most important question of all, what did you gain from going?

Send me your stories at emma@thecomebackbook.com and I’ll run them.

Photograph of unhappy couple by Getty Creative Images.

TODAY IN SLATE

Medical Examiner

Here’s Where We Stand With Ebola

Even experienced international disaster responders are shocked at how bad it’s gotten.

It’s Legal for Obama to Bomb Syria Because He Says It Is

Divestment Is Fine but Mostly Symbolic. There’s a Better Way for Universities to Fight Climate Change.

I Stand With Emma Watson on Women’s Rights

Even though I know I’m going to get flak for it.

It Is Very Stupid to Compare Hope Solo to Ray Rice

Building a Better Workplace

In Defense of HR

Startups and small businesses shouldn’t skip over a human resources department.

Why Is This Mother in Prison for Helping Her Daughter Get an Abortion?

How Ted Cruz and Scott Brown Misunderstand What It Means to Be an American Citizen

  News & Politics
Politics
Sept. 23 2014 12:43 PM Occupy Wall Street How can Hillary Clinton be both a limousine liberal and a Saul Alinsky radical?
  Business
Moneybox
Sept. 23 2014 2:08 PM Home Depot’s Former Head of Security Had a Legacy of Sabotage
  Life
Outward
Sept. 23 2014 1:57 PM Would a Second Sarkozy Presidency End Marriage Equality in France?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 23 2014 2:32 PM Politico Asks: Why Is Gabby Giffords So “Ruthless” on Gun Control?
  Slate Plus
Political Gabfest
Sept. 23 2014 3:04 PM Chicago Gabfest How to get your tickets before anyone else.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Sept. 23 2014 2:31 PM 3 Simpsons Showrunners Reflect on New Fans and the “Classic Era” Myth
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 23 2014 1:50 PM Oh, the Futility! Frogs Try to Catch Worms off of an iPhone Video.
  Health & Science
Science
Sept. 23 2014 1:38 PM Why Is Fall Red in America but Yellow in Europe? A possible explanation, 35 million years in the making.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.