He's Good at Getting the Ball in the Hole

What Women Really Think
Dec. 2 2009 2:21 PM

He's Good at Getting the Ball in the Hole

Hanna , given that he’s one of the most famous people in the world, Tiger really has guarded his privacy better than most public figures, so he actually does have some standing to invoke that privacy now that it’s come out he had a mistress, two mistresses , three mistresses-all of whom work in the nightclub industry and all of whom apparently took a photograph of Angelina Jolie to their plastic surgeons and said, "That nose, those lips, and also throw in a set of DD breast implants." However, since the girlfriend revelations of once-squeaky-clean Tiger have now reached critical mass and he is having thermonuclear bimbo eruptions, whether he wants or deserves privacy, he has to face that it’s gone. For someone with such famous control, did he not think that unless he was very, very generous with his gifts to these women (which means no trinkets from Zales ), eventually one or all might realize they could make years' worth of income by selling their story to the tabs? Now, at least, we may see how canny Tiger was before he got married if we learn what kind of pre-nup he had his wife sign. As for whether all this will affect his endorsements, see this alleged note to mistress Rachel Uchitel and be comforted that if Nike drops him he can always endorse Ambien.

Emily Yoffe is a regular Slate contributor. She writes the Dear Prudence column. 

TODAY IN SLATE

Jurisprudence

Don’t Expect Adrian Peterson to Go to Prison

In much of America, beating your children is perfectly legal. 

Ken Burns on Why Teddy Roosevelt Would Never Get Elected in 2014

Cops Briefly Detain Django Unchained Actress Because They Thought She Was a Prostitute

Minimalist Cocktail Posters Make Mixing Drinks a Cinch

How the Apple Watch Will Annoy Us

A glowing screen attached to someone else’s wrist is shinier than all but the blingiest of jewels.

Books

Rainbow Parties and Sex Bracelets

Where teenage sex rumors come from—and why they’re bad for parents and kids.

Books

You Had to Be There

What we can learn from things that used to be funny.

Legendary Critic Greil Marcus Measures and Maps Rock History Through 10 Unlikely Songs

Catfish Creator Nev Schulman’s Book Is Just Like Him: Self-Deluded and Completely Infectious

Behold
Sept. 12 2014 5:54 PM An Up-Close Look at the U.S.–Mexico Border
  News & Politics
Jurisprudence
Sept. 14 2014 2:37 PM When Abuse Is Not Abuse Don’t expect Adrian Peterson to go to prison. In much of America, beating your kids is perfectly legal. 
  Business
Moneybox
Sept. 12 2014 5:54 PM Olive Garden Has Been Committing a Culinary Crime Against Humanity
  Life
Inside Higher Ed
Sept. 13 2014 8:38 AM “You’re More Than Just a Number” Goucher College goes transcript-free in admissions.
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 12 2014 4:05 PM Life as an NFL Wife: “He's the Star. Keep Him Happy.”
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Sept. 12 2014 5:55 PM “Do You Know What Porn Is?” Conversations with Dahlia Lithwick’s 11-year-old son.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Sept. 14 2014 7:10 PM Watch Michael Winslow Perform Every Part of “Whole Lotta Love” With Just His Voice
  Technology
Future Tense
Sept. 12 2014 3:53 PM We Need to Pass Legislation on Artificial Intelligence Early and Often
  Health & Science
New Scientist
Sept. 14 2014 8:38 AM Scientific Misconduct Should Be a Crime It’s as bad as fraud or theft, only potentially more dangerous.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Sept. 12 2014 4:36 PM “There’s No Tolerance for That” Pete Carroll and Jim Harbaugh say they don’t abide domestic abuse. So why do the Seahawks and 49ers have a combined six players accused of violence against women?