There’s a theory that has some currency among sex researchers and therapists: that, over time in monogamous relationships, women lose desire more than men do. Not much data exists; I’m aware of only one large study on this subject. But the thought is that women’s libidos need more spark in order to ignite, and so women are particularly susceptible to losing desire as they remain with the same partner. It’s an idea that runs somewhat counter to the assumption that female desire tends to depend a great deal on the depth of relationships, on intimacy.
Again, though, we’re talking about an unproven theory. And the hope is that DoubleX 's Desire Lab is a chance to examine the truth of such thinking. How has desire changed for you-or has it changed at all-as long-term relationships have unfolded? How have the changes felt? And how do you explain them? Please send your responses to firstname.lastname@example.org. As always, your identity will remain confidential.