She Makes More Than He Does

What Women Really Think
Nov. 2 2009 12:47 PM

She Makes More Than He Does


Did you know that more than one third of married women in the U.S. now out-earn their husbands? That’s what the latest government statistics tell us. That's compared to roughly 24 percent back in 1987. And we can assume the number is only going to go up during our economic crisis as more men than women are losing their jobs.


I’m interested in what this means in terms of lifestyles, particularly as it relates to families. Typically, the higher earner works longer hours. But the bigger paycheck can also be a reflection of the type of work done. In my book, The Comeback , I told the story of Elaine Stone, who is a partner at a Washington D.C. law firm. She makes more money than her husband, Warren, who is a rabbi. Nothing surprising about that. And obviously money can reflect the desirability and status of the worker. (Does Brad make more than Angelina?)

You might think 33.5 percent is nothing to get excited about. But analysts are saying that the percentage is going to increase more and more during the next few years. "If you walk down the streets of Manhattan, London, or Frankfurt today," Boston Consulting Group’s Michael J. Silverstein told Newsweek , "and you ask 100 single men and women between the ages of 25 and 30 what they make, the women will make more."

The statistic contains the small but significant (and growing) number of fathers who have chosen to be the stay at home parent in a family.

Does it matter to you who makes what amount in your household? I know it makes a difference in one particular example: how childcare is paid for. Mothers tend to deduct that cost from their own paycheck instead of the combined family income.

But I wonder whether the higher earner has more status at home if she is a woman? Does she assume more or less responsibility around the house? Is she working longer hours? Is her job more stressful? What does all of this mean in terms of who deals with the kids?

Traditionally, women have always been in charge of the domestic spending, even when we weren’t making the money that we spent. We picked the appliances, the food, the clothing, and the vacation spots. We still do that, but do we do it differently if we are spending what we have made ourselves? How about saving? Do we get more involved in where we save, when it is our own money we are salting away?

I would really like to hear some stories behind this growing trend. If yours is the larger paycheck, please write to me and give me a sense of your family’s lifestyle, expenditure, and employment. Send your e-mails to , and I’ll post them. If you have any advice to share, pass that along too. This might be the natural point to remind everyone that we at Your Comeback don’t pay for submissions.

Photograph of a couple at an ATM by Jack Hollingsworth/Getty Images.



Slate Plus Early Read: The Self-Made Man

The story of America’s most pliable, pernicious, irrepressible myth.

Rehtaeh Parsons Was the Most Famous Victim in Canada. Now, Journalists Can’t Even Say Her Name.

Mitt Romney May Be Weighing a 2016 Run. That Would Be a Big Mistake.

Amazing Photos From Hong Kong’s Umbrella Revolution

Transparent Is the Fall’s Only Great New Show

The XX Factor

Rehtaeh Parsons Was the Most Famous Victim in Canada

Now, journalists can't even say her name.


Lena Dunham, the Book

More shtick than honesty in Not That Kind of Girl.

What a Juicy New Book About Diane Sawyer and Katie Couric Fails to Tell Us About the TV News Business

Does Your Child Have Sluggish Cognitive Tempo? Or Is That Just a Disorder Made Up to Scare You?

  News & Politics
Sept. 29 2014 10:00 PM “Everything Must Change in Italy” An interview with Italian Prime Minster Matteo Renzi.
Sept. 29 2014 7:01 PM We May Never Know If Larry Ellison Flew a Fighter Jet Under the Golden Gate Bridge
Dear Prudence
Sept. 29 2014 3:10 PM The Lonely Teetotaler Prudie counsels a letter writer who doesn’t drink alcohol—and is constantly harassed by others for it.
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 29 2014 1:52 PM Do Not Fear California’s New Affirmative Consent Law
  Slate Plus
Slate Fare
Sept. 29 2014 8:45 AM Slate Isn’t Too Liberal, but … What readers said about the magazine’s bias and balance.
Brow Beat
Sept. 29 2014 9:06 PM Paul Thomas Anderson’s Inherent Vice Looks Like a Comic Masterpiece
Future Tense
Sept. 29 2014 11:56 PM Innovation Starvation, the Next Generation Humankind has lots of great ideas for the future. We need people to carry them out.
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 29 2014 12:01 PM This Is Your MOM’s Mars
Sports Nut
Sept. 28 2014 8:30 PM NFL Players Die Young. Or Maybe They Live Long Lives. Why it’s so hard to pin down the effects of football on players’ lives.