On Cougars and Grey Wolves

What Women Really Think
June 9 2009 4:52 PM

On Cougars and Grey Wolves

On the subject of "cougar dreams" and older women pairing off with younger men, the concept did not originate with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Although the term "cougar" seemed to spring into the lexicon about 10 years after I could have qualified, I remember fondly a brief romance with a recent college grad of 23 who courted me when I was 29. Problem was, I couldn't stop humming Maggie May by (then still boyish) Rod Stewart and wondering when my boyfriend would need to be "back at school." As attractive as young gentlemen can be, it's nicer to be "honored" by men who are entirely grown up.

More importantly, sweet Samantha, you need not fear vanishing as you mature . In our youth, it is easy to be noticed but throughout life, the only people who really see us are the ones who love us. In your short 2 decades + change you have already accumulated quite a collection of admirers. To them and the many more you'll have, you'll always be three dimensional.


Personally, at your age, I looked forward to my post-youngster days when I'd have substance and could enjoy the fruits of my new ability to labor. My husband and I are almost exactly the same age. Now that we are indisputably un-young, I realize I may have been a bit too enthusiastic about my romantic plan of how he would "grow old along with me." Notwithstanding glowing affirmation that the best was yet to be, my life partner and husband of a quarter century, now as handsome as a grey wolf, has had to accommodate my weakening vision, failing hearing, and other reminders of organic wear. The good news is, to him, I am never, ever, invisible.


Medical Examiner

Here’s Where We Stand With Ebola

Even experienced international disaster responders are shocked at how bad it’s gotten.

It Is Very, Very Stupid to Compare Hope Solo to Ray Rice

The U.S. Is So, So Far Behind Europe on Clean Energy

Even if You Don’t Like Batman, You Might Like Gotham

Friends Was the Last Purely Pleasurable Sitcom

The Eye

This Whimsical Driverless Car Imagines Transportation in 2059


Meet the New Bosses

How the Republicans would run the Senate.

A Woman Who Escaped the Extreme Babymaking Christian Fundamentalism of Quiverfull

So, Apple Is Not Shuttering Beats, but the Streaming Service Will Probably Be Folded Into iTunes

  News & Politics
Sept. 22 2014 6:30 PM What Does It Mean to Be an American? Ted Cruz and Scott Brown think it’s about ideology. It’s really about culture.
Sept. 22 2014 5:38 PM Apple Won't Shut Down Beats Music After All (But Will Probably Rename It)
Sept. 22 2014 4:45 PM Why Can’t the Census Count Gay Couples Accurately?
  Double X
Sept. 22 2014 4:06 PM No, Women’s Soccer Does Not Have a Domestic Violence Problem Or, why it is very, very stupid to compare Hope Solo to Ray Rice.
  Slate Plus
Slate Plus
Sept. 22 2014 1:52 PM Tell Us What You Think About Slate Plus Help us improve our new membership program.
Brow Beat
Sept. 22 2014 5:45 PM The University of California Corrects “Injustice” by Making Its Rich Chancellors Even Richer
Future Tense
Sept. 22 2014 6:27 PM Should We All Be Learning How to Type in Virtual Reality?
  Health & Science
Medical Examiner
Sept. 22 2014 4:34 PM Here’s Where We Stand With Ebola Even experienced international disaster responders are shocked at how bad it’s gotten.
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.