I only spent a little time today watching Vice President Biden conduct ceremonial (read: photo-op) swearings-in for the 34 senators taking office today. My mistake: As the viral video wizards quickly proved, it was a movie-length event that revealed how Biden's "gaffe-prone nature" is actually evidence of him being a fairly normal, goofy person, with a sense of humor that hits at least 60 percent of the time.
That's an except. I've linked the phone thing, so you can experience the hits.
On Delaware's Tom Carper: "I don't know this next crowd!"
To the female offspring of Orrin Hatch: "You know what I tell my grand-kids? Take care of your grandfather. That's your most important job. No serious guys til you're 30."
To Claire McCaskill, on her daughters: "You gonna build a fence around the house? A lotta machine guns?"
To Joe Donnelly: "If I were a bettin' man, I woulda made a lot of money on this guy."
To Heidi Heitkamp, after being told that everyone needed to put his/her hands at his/her sides: "Spread your legs!"
To one of Tim Scott's very large brothers: "Call me if you need help on your pecs."
Dick Cheney's swearing-in celebrations typically lasted 30 minutes less than this.