Weigel

- If Mitt Romney says Obama considers the unemployed "bumps in the road," drink.

- If Newt Gingrich says "solutions," stroke your chin thoughtfully and sip a brandy.

- If Gingrich refers to the future or some date in the future, put on sunglasses and take a sip of whatever you have.

- If Tim Pawlenty says "Obamaneycare," chug. (He said he wouldn't.)

- If anyone complains about a question being beneath the dignity of the event, break a bottle and stab someone with it.

- If Rick Santorum answers a question without attacking someone, take two sips of Campari.

- If Ron Paul mentions "sound money" or the Fed, sip sherry out of a golden chalice.