Weigel

Schoenpitches!

On Monday, I asked readers to propose ideas that could rescue the Obama presidency as counter-intuitive, fact-challenged, and silly as the Schoen/Caddell “One and Done” column. Here are some submissions:

From reader P: “All Obama needs to do is sign an executive order for an NCAA football playoff and he’d suddenly have the political clout to amend the consitution to serve as President-for-life.”

From Galen AzBell: Obama should desolve the federal judiciary, legislature, and all state governments, impose military law, nationalize all industry, impose martial law, and declare himself ruler for life in order to push his agenda through. The lede? “It’s been a popular trend to compare Obama to Hitler for years now. But what if Hitler is exactly what this country needs?”

From Ted Getzel: ” Obama should go to an Evangelical Church every Sunday with a .pearl handled .44 magnum prominently hanging from his hip. He should also wear tooled leather cowboy boots a ten gallon hat and a fat American Flag belt buckle. This will do much to make up for his “cling” speech in San Francisco and win back the heart of the country. Shooting a few deer at Camp David would be good, as would not pardoning the “National Turkey” for Thanksgiving and instead whipping out a hatchet and cutting its head off on national TV. After all this Iran might give up its nuclear program and bonding with Putin would be a cinch.”

From Grace Ke: Obama Must Join Reality Show “In Treatment” in the 2011 Season
 
The Pitch : Sarah Palin has shown that politicians can use reality shows to further their political goals. Obama should take this concept one step further, instead of observing wrestling grizzlies, he can wrestle with his innermost feelings on TV. Ratings – for both the show and Obama – will go through the roof.  
 
The Lede : “The public thinks Obama has no feelings. But Dr. Paul Weston can show us that Obama is a man, not a machine.”

From Ben Adler: Obama Should Endorse Social Security Privatization
The pitch: It would show bi-partisan goodwill to pass a reduction of the long term budget deficit if Obama would endorse an unpopular conservative proposal that would not actually reduce the budget deficit.
The lede: President Obama has promised to listen to Republican ideas, but why not propose one himself?

From Ana Marie Cox, a batch of ideas:

– Appoint Palin to Sec. State after putting Hillary in for Biden!

– Repeal DADT, but at the same time *bring back the horse-riding calvary*! One thing that gays and real Americans can agree on are parades. 

– Opposite day! Catch Boehner rallying for the repeal of the Bush tax codes? Did he say “not” at the end? No? Obama wins!

– Ask America to vote on which should be on the new quarter: young Elvis or fat Elvis?

– All legislative ties to be broken by Rock Band face-offs. 

– Force both coasts to secede. It’s ALL “real America” now. 

– Bring back new Coke. It’ll put the current terrible times into perspective.